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shifted!

2010-03-25T23:02:00.001+08:00

Dear all,
i won`t be blogging at here for now i guess.

see you @xoxokisses.tumblr.com♥

rainy sunday..

2010-03-14T21:58:00.004+08:00

just created a tumblr. account, heh.
trying it out, still deciding whether to change to tumblr permanently or not?|:

anyway, this week has been great.
meeting up with my loved ones.
obtaining better results than previous semester. :D

want to know how i feel on this rainy sunday..?
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HAHAH, just like how my dog feels. :p

get back on track.

2010-03-07T23:54:00.001+08:00

my first clubbing experience @ zirca last thursday.
i love to dance & get high but i hate to drink thou.
its really an eye opening experience.
seeing what people will really do under the influence of alcohol.
funny, scary, shocked, heartbreaking.
there's so much for me to say but i will leave it to myself. [:
lets have some fun again soon yeah girlfriends?

Celebration of 3 of my maternal cousins at my grandfather's house last Saturday.
seeing the number of candles on the 3 cakes shocked me.
time flies,forgotten that all of us are growing, getting older, damn..
scary! ):
i still remember myself hoping to turn 18 & now i hope time could slow down alill..

& i finally meet up with weening/mummy on Monday! :D
walked around bugis! heh heh.

tried this 2 from Top shop, no idea should i buy nots leh..|:

worked at North Point for 3 days.
not bad, learn quite a lot from my bosses.
the techniques used in sales, between customers, promote the product & myself, etc.
its a good learning experience but due to some personal issue;
i decided not to go back & help out.. =\
but still, the people there are super nice! i like! :D

met clique on Thursday for dinner at whitesand too! ♥
no photos with me, with khei still! upload soon sis! hehe

headed down to Folken's chalet after my work on Friday.
no idea why im soooooo hungry recently!
was eating all the way, so the pai seh! :x
Huimin & co tried to convince me that because my period is coming, HAHA!
we'll see when my period comes. hahahah -.-

program 'workshop' on Saturday was quite meaningful after all.
even thou only a handful of us turned up, i enjoyed it. :D

that's what i do for the past 1 week!
should be heading down to Scarfo's chalet tomorrow with some of the proggers! :D

we'll get back on track,
just for me & you..(:

holidayyyyyy

2010-02-23T13:51:00.001+08:00

I JUST FINISHED MY ONE & ONLY PAPER THIS MORNING. :DDDDDDD
be it good or bad, its over!

Michelle's birthday & we are heading over to st James i guess.
& im meeting Magdelene later too, yay!
hmmm, wonder whats my first time to a club feels. hahahaha.

thanks to Alvina & szejun,
me & boyfriend get to go Chingay for free on last Saturday, hehehehe! :D

it was fabulous! the atmosphere was awesome!
whats more, Alvina was being so high beside me,hahaha!
totally enjoying the whole 2 hours.(:
i even think the feeling is better than ndp.
maybe is the location of our seating? ha.

having to see the fire crackers just in front of me,
experiencing it for the first time in my 18 years of life!
& i have fireworks in front & behind me, cool or what.
2 hours seems so fast, beautiful things make us think time passes very fast i guess..

& oh, my eyes aren`t super enough to spot iqah but oh well,
my camera did. hahaha!
Pictures @ fb

dearest Brother's 23rd birthday yesterday.(:

before i went to bed last night,
i was wondering whens the last time me & my family members hugged?
seems so long ago huh..

& i have no idea whats with me this few days,
i think my menses is causing my emotions to be haywire.
fights with B is totally crazy.
& my mum thinks im crazy too.
she even told me that B will be gone soon(in a jokingly manner), hahaahhaha!
my parents,my bro & his gf, me & B played cards yesterday after dinner. :D

blehs! :p

CNY 2010!♥

2010-02-17T23:48:00.000+08:00

HUAT AH :D

hows cny for all of you so far ?
mine is great this year! :D
(summarizing the past few days)

love spending time with my family.(:
going visiting together & all..
previously im busy with school & they are busy with work..|:

i hope i didn`t grew fat with all the good food! :x
but seriously, everything taste so awesome!

my luck this year is slightly better;
& i won quite abit from playing blackjack 50cent/round.(:

i got to meet boyfriend everyday.
both of us visited each other's houses.(:
& he got me a bouquet of roses for valentine's day.♥
thank you sweet.♥
was so busy with projects previously, i didn`t get him anything in return..
for both valentine's day & our 9 months on the 15t.. sorry!):

meet up with clique yesterday was great.
visiting JY & WJ's houses + playing of cards + dinner @ Ikea.(:
& not to forget,
KHEI, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR HANDMADE CARD, SUPER SWEET!
TOUCHED !♥

& hopefully i will start studying tomorrow!!!!!
Friday: going Sherhua's chalet.
Saturday: going ong's house.
Sunday.. i can`t remember.
Monday is bro's birthday, eating dinner at Eastcoast! :D
Tuesday: ITECH PAPER! ):

no one in this world can please everyone.
everyone has the right to comment thou;
but to me, only my family has the rights to judge me & change me.
other than that,do spend time doing meaningful things instead.
thanks by the way, cheers. (:

more photos here. (:

CNY IS HERE!

2010-02-13T15:11:00.001+08:00

finally meet up with secondary school clique on Wednesday.
i have also registered btt with khei, haha!
29 march!(:
& i went for Folken's dinner!
thanks to yingquan for asking me along & i really did enjoyed with them.:D
thanks for hearing me out too bestie!

shopping at fareast on Thursday with khei again! ♥
felt so good going home with so many shopping bags! heeee.

FRIDAY WAS MY LAST PROJECT INTERVIEW & LABTEST FOR THIS SEMESTER! :DDD
okay, i almost forgot i got a paper on 23rd. -.-

anyway, meet up with mark & headed down to town.
we went shopping, making me so tempted to buy that agnes b bag now!
shit you la clique, HAHA!
watched Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief!
I LIKEEEEEEEE!♥

rushed back school for program meeting & lo hei!
my hands got very sticky after that. -.-
was feeling tired, didn`t join the rest for dinner.):
reached home, slept till boyf called.
went plaza sing for another movie,14 blades.
was expecting more thou. not bad la..
home & sleeppppppp.

i don`t feel the love, no bond..):

i wonder if im enjoying or torturing myself?!
i shopped & walked more than i sleep. LOL
TIRED!

&& ITS CHINESE NEW YEAR EVE TODAY!
WISHING EVERYONE GOOD HEALTH,HAPPINESS & PROSPERITY!
新年快乐‏!♥

time for a good rest!

2010-02-09T19:10:00.001+08:00

i shall not spoil my mood by thinking about other stuffs now! :D

Andy's belated birthday celebration @ DTE's NYNY on Sunday night.
9 of us.
& i have a good laugh the entire 3 hours with them.
awesome night to end this horrible week. :D

ANYWAY,
I AM LEFT WITH ONLY ONE PROJECT INTERVIEW & ONE LAB TEST ON FRIDAY!
should have clear all my projects interview today but due to some..., oh well.

after which; Friday program meeting having "lo hei"(how to spell?)
& perhaps gonna watch movie with boyfriend & co after that.
Saturday will be cny eve already.
HO HO HO ! GONG XI FA CAI. sounds so xmas-ish. LOL
im like self entertaining myself. -.-

& it felt so great being able to see the sun on my way home earlier today!
awww! after so many days of rushing of projects till late! :D

ALRIGHT, SELF-DECLARED NO SCHOOL FOR WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY!
perhaps i will go back on Thursday for itech lecture? hmmm.
gonna meet khei & jy tomorrow hopefully !♥

i won`t ever be apart with you again..♥

stress-out

2010-02-05T23:57:00.000+08:00

i am afraid to be alone..

know who i loves most?(:

pretty stress recently,
i need a cry-out..

been rushing projects for the past 1 month+ or so.
its kinda both physically & mentally tired doing all the coding..):
but hang on, 1 week left!
3 projects on hand still! tsk!

but surprisingly,
its all these projects that make me stuck in the labs, facing the computer, type & type;
that makes me realize my fellow course mates are nice people ! :D
especially my new classmates for this semester.
i used to hate my course for all the shit modules & plus;
i didn`t really interact with anyone in my course except my classmates.

thou its kinda late to actually only know them now;
as there's only 1 week more to go. hmm.|:

personally i felt that im so far away from them.
its like i want to be myself but i just can`t.
things are different i guess.
left-out is the word..

i feel so... just very tired by everything.
& sometimes i think, i don`t need you too.

full of projects..

2010-01-24T16:58:00.003+08:00

been rushing projects.
such a tiring week. ):

anyway, after like 7 hours of ewa on Friday.
bus-ed down to farest to meet gaen.
& i cut + color my hair.
don`t really have a difference, just neater, haha!

didn`t went for otc refreshes too.. ):
tired tired week.
ewa submisson next Friday.
pst presentation next Tuesday.
asp & mdad project due soon.
java & more java; coding & more codings!! )):

just a short update, bye!

not the worst yet.

2010-01-17T20:50:00.000+08:00

this week isn`t that good but it isn`t the worst too..

was actually program head for week zero.
but after some commotions, considerations, heartache, figuring out..
i decided to let go, give it up & quit.

trust me, this choice isn`t easy at all.
once, i felt kinda into camps & program.
the responsibility & the output at the end & of cause;
my lovely fellow programmers that keep me going.. (:
but now, i kinda lost the faith..

well, its time to move on right?

it may sounds so stupid to those that isn`t active in camp.
but hey, im once an anti-camps.
hahaha! i shock don`t know how many of my friends that i joined so much camps. :p
my Year 2 in TP has been really hectic.
time for some break!

so im left with FOC.

i got roughly 3 weeks to rush for around 4 to 5 projects.
3 of them are the-forever-killing-me-java projects!! ):
so next week = projects & more rushing of projects!

& oh,
dearest mummy & I bought a Cheongsam each.
hahaha, i just feel like wearing one on cny when im 18 so yeah. (:
of cause not those tradition & long & red one. NO NO NO. hehe!

and!
both boyf & me finally have the time to go out together!
shopped @ somerset area.
a simple trip. (:
happy (belated) 8 months ! ♥

)':

2010-01-13T01:26:00.001+08:00

i aren`t saying what im feeling deep down.
& this sucks..

take a break.

2010-01-10T23:52:00.002+08:00

3 days of open house ended.
so glad to see cheeyong on the first day.
so glad to see twin, chorseng,guangyao, eekian, ong, etc on the last day.

JOAN MISSES ALL OF YOU SO SO MUCH ! HAI ):

dinner with cs & gy @ 18chefs after that.
♥boyf came & fetched me after that to meet eekian & co.

feels so great cause i finally have the time to chill,
to just sit down & talk to my friends...

i think i need a break.
having to take the blame for nothing is fuckup.
maybe i should just stop everything & just concentrate on my studies.
simple life, happier life, stress-free.
no more sensitive issues, no more unnecessary problems, no more shit.
kinda lazy to explain so that people understand.
who will remember your good as time pass by..

i slept through Sunday. (:
boyf accompanied till night time too! ♥
gonna rush projects already!

first week of 2010 !

2010-01-05T23:55:00.000+08:00

last long weekend, i got to meet up with friends.
i got to relax, awesome ! :D

so...

first up,

i met up with khei/sister on new year eve!
chilled @ Tampines area.
i miss this girl super much ! HUGS!
we gonna meet to dye our hair/make our nails/shop for cny clothes/etc SOON !♥

steamboat @ eric/couisn's house at night! :D

i wanted to watch fireworks so..
boyf drove to labrador park but carpark full!
then to don`t know where, finally to ECP there.
somehow, we managed to watch the fireworks on the expressway!
cool shit, exciting siozxzxz !
thank you baby, i manage to spend my last second of 2009 with you & the first second of 2010 too ! LOVE LOVE ! ♥

secondly..,
meet up with Jiahui/bestie after a year last Saturday!♥
im so sorry! will meet you up soon again, yes! (:
& i got lost @ Suntec & bestie came to my rescue, LOL.
fail man ! im a road idiot! -.-

talking to someone that i knew for 10 over years is really great.
i loveeee ! :D

chill at some-don't-know-what-name-cafe cause we wanted to eat icecream.
& haagen-dazs is too expensive, tsk!|:

watched Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant !
confirm got part 2 one lo ! but i find the show nice thou! :p

& this cute bear that bestie got for me for birthday present!
i got for her the same bear but with her name.♥

thirdly...

Sunday was OTC mass outting @ Sentosa.
me & Gaen went Cityhall & had sakae sushi for our lunch.
train-ed down to Vivo to meet up with Mark & Dillon.
waited for our dear Janice for 2 hours!!
only reached Palawan beach at 4 plus? opps opps !
captain balls; prog VS log. play for fun but i enjoyed ! :D

after which,
me,Gaen,Mark & Janice headed down to Rochor for tau Huay.
AWESOME I TELL YOU! ♥
& i waited for boyf to fetch me home. (:

open house this week !
"Do what you like, where you like. Start at TP."

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.
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you are the one that i wanna hold on tight.. (:
we'll make it through, hand in hand, i promise..

HAPPY NEW YEAR ♥

2010-01-01T00:00:00.003+08:00

♥HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE !♥

2009 is full of ups & downs like always.
time sure pass very fast for 2009!
in TP for almost 2 years now..
started my camp journey this year.
i learnt things that aren`t taught in school.
i grew from there, having higher expectations of myself each time..
i realise im still that sensitive & thats me.
but i have a better control of my emotions now.(:
after a year, 356 days, i still do not understand whats between us human.
i always hope i care lesser but ended up caring more than anyone else.-.-
i always wish im stronger, working on that still..
met different kinds of people, unexpected shit at random times.
been busy & not able to catch up with everyone around me like i used too.
to the extend i felt friendless,hahahah..

i have too many people in mind to thanks,
i met so many of you that are willing to guide & support me.
i really appreciate everything from you guys. :D
those support really keep me go on....

i made new friends along the way,
i lost some/drift apart with at the same time.

Joining as a programmer really takes up lots of time.
im being forced to manage my time well.
meetings,projects,camps,friends,family& even boyf.

sometimes even if im free, i feel so tired to go out;
all i want to do is stay at home & rest..|:
i chose this path myself & im responsible for it.

no doubt, at times i really wanna give up.
concentrate on my studies but oh well..

i owe boyfriend E a big thank you for the past 7 months +.
being my biggest support, my biggest motivation.
tolerating me, being there for me, treating me great.
both of us are kinda stressed out by so much stuffs but im glad we held on each other..
it isn`t a smooth journey but a worthwhile journey.
baby, i miss those carefree times we used to have;
when both of us are so free, spending the whole day together..
& not having anything on mind, just you & me..
i hope everything will be better for the both of us.
we are together in this yeah?
i love you, baby!♥

Resolution for 2010?
* slim down more! HAHAHA
* either maintain or pull up my gpa!
* improve myself even more!
* be more cheerful, happier( i kinda forgotten how to be happy -.-)
* can i be prettier ? LOL

conclusion?
I JUST HOPE 2010 WILL BE A MUCH MUCH MUCH BETTER YEAR FOR ME, YOU, EVERYBODY!
PEACE ! ^^

2 more days to 2010

2009-12-30T08:14:00.004+08:00

let me see..
its Wednesday now, last day of school for this week ! :D

its 8.11am now = asp.net lessons.
i came & then i realise its only revision for next week graded lab.. -.-
shouldn`t have wake up so early, waste my $$ on cab. wth!
felt cheated please. tsk !

not sure if im meeting khei/sister later.
not sure if im going to the flyers with my classmates.
& talking about this, i finally went out with them on monday!
like finally, i know! :x
watched sherlocks holmes! :D
i think its nice la but i think they fell asleep... -.-

oh, i can`t stop using this emotion! -.- -.- -.- -.-

&&& tomorrow is new year eve already, fast siozxzxzx!
meeting khei in the day & am going over to eric/cousin's place!
to have steamboat, yours truly idea, yay! :D
so the group of us are going to stay at his house to count down,
sounds abit loserish but oh well, at least we don`t have to squeeze huh..

actually i have no idea what to describe about 2009.
full of shit, busy like don`t know what.
& am still busy, lol!
will be quite packed all the way till April for the moment.
Joan can do it yeah? woosh ! :D
im lazy to think but im left with 2 days to 2010, oh well!

okay, till then, BYE!

lots of love,
J♥

decemeber kinda screwed me up.. ):

2009-12-27T23:02:00.001+08:00

things are slowly back on track,
ready to move on to the next chapter!
learn & experience & do better yeah ? :p

been pretty lazy to update. |:

met up with nasir & ryan for cds project on Tuesday noon.
headed to town.
went for novir/scarfo's outting.
luckily theres luffy, because i felt like a total lost sheep!
bah bah bah. -.-
saw Janice♥ later on & chit-chat abit before alex/brother came & meet me.
went down to 511 market for supper with eric/cousin, anna & david. [:
boyf fetched me home afterwhich!♥

i think i was resting at home on Wednesday..

Thurday was xmas eve! (:

went down to Hougang for a heartwarming gathering.
although just a few of us, i enjoyed myself.
the food was nice! good food by the host, eric. (:
wanted to go down east coast to find cousin & co,
but the carpark was so full till me & boyf decided to go home..

cute right the red small xmas hat! hahahaha !
simple xmas eve, i missed having fun actually.. ):

FRIDAY = XMAS !
MERRY XMAS EVERYONE ! ♥

i spent it with boyf.
was quite a bad one.. ):

didn`t really did much this weekend.
December has been quite screwed up!
i used to love December, the month of my birthday!
xmas & new year!
just hope new year eve will be great, to cover up the shit i had for this whole month!

tomorrow is back to school & i don`t have the mood! tsk!
since Thursday = new year eve = half day
& i start school @ 1pm, i hope there's NO SCHOOL ! :D

& i miss chilling out with all my loved ones.
been pretty busy & neglected so much of my friends. ):
Joan is sorry & misses everyone out there!!!♥

& damn, i have yet even register for btt! -.-

PEACE !

blamed

2009-12-21T01:40:00.000+08:00

my 18th birthday is kinda boring & dull.
no special celebrations, no parties.

boyfriend merely brought me out for shopping.
lunch @ swensen & dinner @ Din Tai Fung.
no cards or anything...

the only thing that got me smiling like a little kid is..
boyfriend & my family paid for me a new phone.
bought satio in exchange of my pixon.

what a 18th birthday, seriously..

xmas is 4 days away.
didn`t have any plans with friends too.
perhaps just with boyfriend i guess?
):

thinking back of what happened for nightwalk,
looking through those true-felt words from some,
i cant`t help but feel even more upset.
when i needed someone to at least cheer me up & push me on,
but no, totally helpless & stress out.
i wonder whats my partner doing too.
& instead of getting help, i got back thousands of questions.
i was totally alone/lost for the matter of fact,
i have no one to turn to or lie on..
its kinda stuck in my head, how bad i have done,
it was so bad that i blame myself for why accept the role of nightwalk ic.
if i didn`t, i would have enjoy my birthday, a simple & stress-free one.
i blame myself for taking up the role & not make nightwalk a great one.
i think my heart is crushed, more upset than anyone else.
because, it happened in the school i planned.
i sacrifice so much, for not having time to study,
to sleep less than 4 hours everyday, for putting so much effort,
but to see how chui the whole thing is, to see everyone saying its the worst nightwalk.
i seriously blame myself..
how i wish boyfriend was there with me or even engine programs peeps..
this is shit.

move on move on move on ~~~
nightwalk get off my mind please, HAI !

no doubt i learn so much from otc.
but i feel more than alone most of the time.

nevertheless,
i know deep down, i tried my very best.

bottom line..
I STILL LOVE PROGRAM.
JOAN ISNT GIVING UP, CHIONG AHHHHHHH ! :D
"we not scare ah we not scare!"

i feel bored thats why i blogged.
but i think the purpose of this post seems to be telling whoever reading this that,
i am a loser or rather, i feel like one..
tsk..

otc camp was a blast !

2009-12-19T02:09:00.000+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE !
lengthy post again..

4 days of OTC camp ended yesterday night.
i knew people from log,foodmin,Gl & of cause dear programmers. ♥
it was really a great experience.
different from the usual camps that i went previously.
definitely learn alot from my peers & my heads. (:
despite sleeping less than 5 hours every night, i missed camp..

the 3 days of station games were alright.
but i feel that i can improve more!
i can feel my confidence level increasing slowly each day, haha!

& nightwalk is the killer of all... ):

Emeth & me were the 2 ic for engine nightwalk.
which i personally felt that i was super duper chui to the max!
less than 5% of my expectation, can feel the chui-ness? hai.. ):
& the best thing is that it happened on my birthday !
my 18th birthday !!
i cried so much after that, so disappointing!
Gaen was kind enough to lend me a shoulder & hug me.. (:

but my dearest fellow programmers were so supportive.(:
those GLs that came are supportive too. (:

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE COMMENTS/FEEDBACKS!
I WILL JIAYOU, I PROMISE ! ♥
THANK YOU EVERYONE THAT HELPED OUT !
PROGRAMMERS/LOG/FOODMIN/DESIGN PEEPS ! :D
& OF CAUSE GAEN,HUIMIN,SIEWYIN,ASMINE,EMETH! BIG LOVE! ♥

i still remember Kai being kinda angry & it felt so sorry,
cause we didn`t plan well enough..):
a pat on the shoulder from Brandon really keep me going..(:

& NOT TO FORGET, THANK YOU ALL FOR WISHING ME.
BE IT CALLS OR SMS OR BLOG OR VIA FACEBOOK !
I FELT SUPER DUPER LOVED !

& programmers, thanks for the cake! ♥

& HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MY DEAR TWIN BROTHER, JUSTIN ! :D

& my dear Xuanle called me over to sports hall;
having a few of them to sing me a birthday song.
thank you for assuring me that my birthday wont be that chui, sweet !
having to hear empires singing birthday song to me is really awwwww. ♥

i wonder what boyfriend has for me tomorrow.
& idiot you, didnt wish me at facebook ! tsk, hahaha!

before i end this post,
just wanna say..
OTC ROCKZXZXZXZ ! i grew so much from there. ♥

happy 7 months ♥

2009-12-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

(random pic -.-)

HAPPY 7 MONTHS ! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

im sorry baby,
for being at camp like again.
miss you super much & see you on Thurday night hopefully!

i love you,

♥J

off for another camp !

2009-12-14T02:51:00.001+08:00

e-gudies almost killed me.
i didn`t sleep for around 32 hours!
not too bad but just very tiring.
quite satisfy with the games i planned with my group. [:

skipped otc subcom workshop.
was struggling & hesitating whether to go or not.
my body told me not to go because my body couldn`t take it.. -.-

at around 6,7plus.
Chorseng & Joan came to my doorstep with a cake.♥

awwww, sweet to the max, just that im dead tired..
my first birthday cake & present. love you both ! xoxo !

(trying my best to smile despite being so damn tired, lol!)

slept till Sunday afternoon.
drag myself up & looked through emails.
boyfriend came over to accompany me too.♥

tomorrow am off for otc, till Thursday.
& i have this feeling my birthday will be so sucky. -.-
spending in camp with not much people that im close with, aye...

Jiayou Joan !
i can do it! plus with so many people helping for nightwalk.
priceless present i guess.
i really really hope i don`t disappoint anyone, especially myself & the heads.

but i can`t help by feeling upset, just that little..

MISS ME PEOPLE ! XOXO
i need to sleep now....

1 more paper to go..

2009-12-09T20:42:00.005+08:00

2 papers down, 1 more paper to go!
mdad theory questions screwed me up, tsk!

manicure & pedicure & trimming of eyebrow after my paper.
a treat to myself, to make myself feel better.
& no, i didn`t forget theres still one more paper to go.. lol!

okay, so here how things are now..
i made a choice, i joined camps.
& i commit to it, being responsible & etc.
so i spent lesser time with my peers/friends/etc,
to the extend i got so upset that i feel you guys don`t understand.

my bad, my fault..
sorry i can`t spare time to go out, watch movies,etc..
i aren`t making up excuses just not going out.
im tired, im busy.
blame myself for feeling left out.. hai.

because i didn`t expect myself to be soooo busy..

sometimes i have no idea wtf is going on.
like what should i do, blah blah blah.

& one of it is..
joined camp to try things out, experience, make new friends.
but sometimes camps aren`t as fun as what we see on the surface..
you have to blend in & work with weird/crazy/retarded/etc people.
of cause, you found camp mates that have the same interest with you,
you get along with them, enjoy the camp with their accompany.
but when it comes to planning, brainstorming together,
i think this part killed alot of friends.
it even spoil the friendship between good friends, no joke!

so as time goes, the gap just got bigger & bigger..

and the last thing you can do is..
be neutral & do what you are supposed to do as you are told.

but what if some shitheads drag you in stupid situation?
feel helpless & wtf-is-this feeling.
& here comes the game of who can control emotions best.
zzzzz

conclusion?
i have nothing to feel, seriously.

okay, PEACE. :D

1 more week but why aren`t i feeling excited ? HAI!

stress vs motivation

2009-12-06T23:48:00.000+08:00

Friday...
around 10 hours of doing otc stuff was really a killer.
got me so tired & kinda stress out.
i was sleeping & suddenly i woke up just to cry & went back to sleep...
thankfully baby was there.. (:

i felt more than ready after after that cry.
been controlling my emotions to the max lately.
stopped myself from tearing cause i don`t wanna anything to affect me.
i thought i have high expectation of myself,
but i felt that others have even higher expectation of me.
which is a good thing thou, greater motivation ? [:
pushing myself to perform better..

stress on necessary stuffs & not random thoughts that i used to do..
now i understand that.. [:

i slept throughout Saturday, was really damn tired.
& i did my stuff till 5am.

& i just bathed, taking a break from my revision..

jiayou Joan! jiayou...

10 more days man !!!! (:

just breathe..

2009-12-04T01:48:00.001+08:00

in life ,i always gained but lost something at the same time. hai.

YAWNS !!!!

been sleeping after after 3am everyday this week, chui ! -.-
been trying to study for my term test!
because i have no timeeeeeeee.
too much meetings & planning but i chose it myself so yeah.

finally is friday!
lessons till 12;
meeting boyfriend for lunch till 1.♥
& gonna meet nightwalk peeps after that.
otc meeting at 730pm.
gonna rest abit during the weekends & STUDY again. tsk!

Tuesday : ITech
Wednesday : MDAD
Friday : EWA
Friday to Saturday : Eguides camp
Saturday : Otc subcom workshop
Monday to Thursday : Otc camp
Wednesday : ♥18th 18th 18th ! ♥

& yours truly will be in camp when im turning 18!
12 more days man !!

really hope i do well in Otc..
Jiayou everyone !

mad busy.

2009-11-27T19:58:00.003+08:00

been leaving school after 9plus for this whole week.|:
as usual..
meetings,projects,tests...

rushing mad for MDAD project which is due on Monday(!)
given like 1 week +, 2 weeks to finish.
& today is public holiday so lab is closed!
&& there's only this particular lab for the software;
&&& i have no idea why i cant install the software on my laptop... -.-

weekend is "booked" by otc nightwalk stuff.
kinda excitied to see the aftremath after the whole thing actually. [:

&&&&&&& the week after is TERM TEST! OMG!
after that is e-guides & otc!
free after that i assume ? :D

19 more days..

stress-out

2009-11-22T15:40:00.001+08:00

tests, quizzes, meetings occupied my week.
perhaps its the bad weather, perhaps its the lack of sleep.
had on-off bad headache & stomach cramps throughout this week.
even down with fever on friday & thats why i absent myself from otc meeting.
but im fine now, i hope!(:

when im so glad that its Saturday.
i wish its Monday again, contradicting huh?

all i want to do is just relax, enjoy & get myself away from work.
but no, i got so sick of unexpected shit.
tired of making things better.
fucked up weekend, bad week! really.....

& as i happily strike off my to-do list,
i find myself adding more in return. -.-

theres quite alot to do for otc. |:
i have to cope, i will manage it, i can & i will !
jiayou!

& im less than a month away from my 18th birthday..
im one that treats birthday the most important day in my life.
been looking forward to my 18th for years, cant remember why also.
but i actually sacrifice & go for otc..
really wonder how will it be like this year.. ):
no cutting of cake on the actual day with my family like every year.
dearest mummy even asked if i need her to take off days;
& i told her i will be in camp, she went zzz |:
boyfriend won`t be able to be there too.

yes, i made my own decision.
i just wanted to try & experience, that`s all..

i hate to share, because i dont want others to think im weak & troublesome.
i hate to show, because i need to control my emotions well.
i hate to think of a way out..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KHEI!

2009-11-21T00:00:00.000+08:00

thats like few months back? take pics soon please !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST SEEKHEI ! ♥

i miss you so so much ! ):
we'll celebrate our birthday together belated okay!
HEHE ! :D
jiayou for you A level my dear girl, im sure you gonna score well! (:
& we will go shopping, watch movie, eat yummy food etc after that !
we can even go overseas, hahaha!
can`t wait to meet you ! ):
meanwhile, do take good care of yourself & see you soon!
muackkkkkssss ~ !

LOVE YOU!
J♥

happy 6 months ♥

2009-11-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

BABY,

HAPPY 6 MONTHS ! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

i know i sucks at time, sucks at being a girlfriend.
my mood went up & low like a fucking spoilt roller coaster. |:
but you are always calming me down & being there for me silently.
im sorry for pushing you away at times, im sorry..

i feel so peaceful with you are beside me.
just you & me.

i promise to be a good girl, haha!

love you, i really do. [:

loves,
J

miss extremely busy!

2009-11-14T16:01:00.003+08:00

~~TGIF~~ TGIS!

so yesterday was CCN day & my class isnt involve. :D
walked around, chilled around etc with boyfriend & zhixin, seng, yq,..
all the way till 7 & i headed for my first OTC program meeting.

& oh, my dearest xuanle bought me the tpsu balloon for me, for 1buck man! haha!
thanks er zi ! ♥

was feeling nervous, how funny..
wanted to meet christian first but he will be late.
i have the courage to go for my program interview the second time yet im afraid to go up student lounge alone, tsk!|:
ended up going up alone with boyfriend sending me to the lift..(loser me!)

seeing my 'pingping jie' makes me feel better, haha!
there are 3 of my sec sch mates too, christian,weimin & shuan. [:

before the meeting, im labelled as "miss busy"
after the meeting...?

heres my schedule..

Monday : end school @ 5pm, meeting prog groupmate1 @5pm, eguides meetig @ 7pm, meeting groupmates2 online @ 11pm.
Tuesday : meeting groupmates3 @ 11am, end school @ 9pm & i have asp lab test(!!)
Wednesday: end school @ 12pm, meeting chorseng in between(?), eguides meeting @ 6pm, draft deadline @ 1159pm
Thursday: end school @ 5pm but i have itech quiz & ewa quiz on that day(!!)
Friday: ewa presentation,end school @ 12pm, eguides meeting @ 2pm, otc meeting @ 730pm

straight after eugides camp, is otc subcomp workshop...
tired or what?

working with different people from different background,hmmm.
having to suit one & another timing.

super duper packed, i need to buy myself a schedule book!|:

& that's why i get so pissed when people give me unnecessary shit! TSK!

boyfriend gonna bring me out to shopping later on, distress!
gonna study at night & do my ppt for my presentation next friday!

tomorrow is our 6 months & has been busy..
we gonna go hello kitty's exhibition tomorrow @ expo ! KITTYLAB ! YAY! :D
& dearest mummy sponsor me the ticket! :DDDDDD

so so so so busy..

good life doesnt comes so easy, how true.

2009-11-12T21:36:00.001+08:00

i feel so greyyyyyyy & my colour code for the day is..?

GREY! -.-

& oh, soft rebond my hair last saturday. no dry hair! :D

yes i am stubborn.

my emotions this week has been pretty bad.
stable - low - high - low- stable - ...
low esteem for the week! tsk
i need to get back on my feet real soon...

poor expressing really got me to the lowest.
i need to know, i need to feel.

i hate whats going on around me now.
esp those questions that bother me for quite sometime.

joan isn`t emo(!)
shower me with love, care & give me hugs! boohoo! ]:

anyway, i got into OTC as a programmer. YAY!
something that i wish to try & hmmm, lets hope for the best!
tomorrow having the first meeting. *nervous + scare*
i wonder how it will be like.
just hope my server moodswings doesnt screw me up badly.
& hope i make new friends.

please let me have a good friday....!

this sucks.

2009-11-08T00:54:00.005+08:00

i feel like talking to someone badly.
but then again, i don`t feel like.
i am online but yet appearing offline.
my phone is beside me yet i aren`t smsing or calling anyone up.

so i guess this is the only place to be.

my heart felt the hurt.so much.
my mind cramp with so much stuffs.

issues in life, part of growing up?
i feel so alone, totally lost today.
i don`t feel like having anyone beside me today.

apart from that,
i will learn, i will endure, i will do my best.
but at least show me even the dimmest light & i will find my way out.
i have nothing, is it really my responsibility to even find a way out myself?
whats there to prove? nothing.
all along, im the one pushing myself too hard;
giving myself much higher expectation each time.

damn, this sucks.
i wonder who really do understand me?
i wonder who really know i meant well?
i wonder who really know what i feel deep down.

ihatetoshare.ihatetoshare.ihatetoshare.
my best friend = ME.

whats wrong?

2009-11-05T22:15:00.000+08:00

actually...
i have forgotten how to smile; a real smile.

& why is my life so plain..?

30th October;
BB's Halloween camp on Friday was kinda tiring.
After the night walk, gave Boyfriend a surprise. [:
thank you program, thank you Seng, thank you everyone for helping me! :D

31st October;

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST BABY!!
been planning for this day for 2 months.
but still, under some unforeseen circumstances, some plans can`t be carried out.
the heavy rain got me real upset, the bad traffic make it worst..
didn`t get to go Sentosa for spooktucular. ):
but nevertheless, small surprises here & there.
that 24hours = :DD quality time spent!

"i want you to feel special every year on the 31st of October BECAUSE ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY! :D"

i spent my sunday sleeping...

3rd November;
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST GONG GONG!!

my cute little girl turns a year older, haha!
wasted 6 hours doing nothing waiting for program meeting to start.-.-
wanted to go home but i foresee myself not coming back so..
back home at 10plus after eating prata withBboyfriend,Jan & Joanna. [:
typed email, tiredddddddd.

today?
finally back home early as requested by dearest daddy.
i think he got sick of asking me everyday if im coming home early.|:
my uncle treated all of us dinner so yeah.
i lost track of whens the last time i see all of them,
why does everyone age so much...
talked to dearest daddy on our way back, feels good! :D

& oh, i feel fat.
&& steamboat tomorrowww! :DD
&&& i am going to rebond my hair on saturday.[:
&&&& so nervous for Monday! |:
.
.
.
.
.

whats wrong?

busy like a bee!

2009-10-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY MICHELLE BAOBEI!♥
catch up with you real soon okay!
i really hope you are doing great in life;
be it studies, friends, love or family! :D
thank you for everything you once done with me, appreciated it alot!
& i will always remember those small little things you done too.! :D
be happy always, love you! xoxo♥

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
no idea why am i so busy actually.
spent most of my time in school.

despite on-off stuffs going on,
i finally managed to have lunch with the whole group of them(!):D
no idea wheres kenny & ben thou. lol
sorry guys, tsk,& stupid zx, what no time to even chat with you all! SAD DE LEHSZXZX!

after so many days of thinking,
talking to sooooo much people, i finally made a decision.
thank you all, every single one of you that i talked to. [:
well, no turning back, just move forward! :D
i will do my best.

suddenly, i miss talking to dearest mummy..
left her a note before i left school saying im sorry. |:

baby,
thank you for understanding me more than anyone else.
thank you for knowing how to deal with my emotions.
3 more days to your big day! ♥

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAG!

2009-10-25T00:00:00.001+08:00

dedicated to: MAGDELENE HU!♥

my very first friend in TP.
i always remember this weird & dao girl that wants to sit beside me but then hesitate & ended up sitting beside me when we are in LT. LOL!
we started off pretty good, from strangers to classmates to my dearest girlfriend!

i always tend to jump whenever i see her. excited!
its like seeing her brighten up my shitty days in school. :p

went through shit periods when we are classmates.
we are closer when we got separated actually..
perhaps no more stupid conflicts & misunderstanding i guess?

you are always there whenever i need a listening ear.
you always understand, be it friendship problems, love, daily life.
you always listen to me & give me advices.
thank you love!

you are one that dont make me feel out of place.
like we are in the same world everytime. haha
& not to forget, thanks for being my makeup artist, my hair stylist at random times.
my personal fashion consultant? :D

i will really miss those lunch break when we meet up to talk while eating.
thank you for accompanying me when theres no one.
i appreciate every little thing you did. (:

promise we will stay in contact;
because i won`t want to lose such a good girlfriend like you!
please take care & do well in life love.

YOU will always be my pretty bff/girlfriend/lovelove ! ♥

meet up soon alright!

loves,
Joan (:

first week of school..

2009-10-24T18:17:00.001+08:00

first week of school.
hmm, not too bad after all thou.
new classmates are alright too. [:
there will quite a number of projects to be done for this semester,tsk!
projects are already starting even though its the first week! -.-

& oh, i love my nails! :D

maybe i just could not make it.
thanks for making me feel so ever demoralize..
the big cry out kinda helps.
time for an alternative, a better change i guess.
instead of giving up why not try harder huh?
whatever.

deep down, i know but you..?

you are my greatest support.
i realise i really cannot live without you.♥

monday blue ):

2009-10-19T19:32:00.004+08:00

MONDAY BLUES -.-

school just started today.
all of us got split, kinda bored in class.. |:

first lesson which is also the last lesson on the day was quite interesting.
4 hours of Mobile Device Applications Development, yupyup.
hope it doesn`t get too hard as we proceed on.
not much familiar faces today ):
boring!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
last week was very well-spent. (:

meeting up the guys on last Tuesday was really enjoying.
ice skating seems really fun but i chose to be their supporters of the day, lol!
im sorry for not being able to meet you guys throughout the holidays. |:
& now we are all separated into different class with our timetable clashing..
sorry for not joining you guys for poker @ Daniel's house too because i have camp the next day..

"why you always go camp one ah?"
"errr, never la, only a few ma.. ><"

meet up again ! will join you guys whenever possible k ! :D
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday to Friday...
i chose not to stay over for oct orientation camp..
more bonding sessions & so much more photos taken! :p
i think most of the cameras have my photos, opps, LOL!

anyway, thanks all for making me feel like one big family.
you guys really very best, especially the "Ko-galas"! ((:
not forgetting my dearest gong gong, zx, joanna, audrey, jan that pig, kenneth;
& of course, hoon, cindy & elaine! :D

i made more close friends & not just hi-bye friends,
friends that i look forward to see everyday in school..[:
random friends that i made in camp too, haha!

i also learnt alot, gained more experience too.
every camp make me grew up.
im sure everyone did enjoy throughout. [:

Joan misses all of youuuuuu!

& i realise camp or rather my camp mates always cause an impact on me greatly.

& tsk, i got sunburned on the last day ):
even my parents are complaining that im always in school during holiday.-.-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

• watched the hurt locker with cs & gy on Saturday.

• help out LIFE on Sunday for the old books donation drive.(:

P.S felt helpless when my dear boy fell ill..):
you meant the world to me!

happy 5 months ♥

2009-10-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 5 MONTHS BABY ! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

since im in camp now, so i set it to be posted at 12am! :D
we'll celebrate it belated okay!

& i just wanna tell you that..

I LOVE YOU!
the days with you are just wonderful & i couldn`t ask for more!
i have been really happy ever since 5 months back. ((:

Loves,
J

Dedicated to my Dearest HAIYEEEE! :D

2009-10-14T00:30:00.000+08:00

Dedicated to my Dearest HAIYEEEE! :D

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY!♥

still remember how we started?
psychology CDS! cool right, yes i think its cool.LOL!
started off with complete strangers to classmates to my dearest girlfriend!♥

what actually brought us together?
our characters i guess!
sama sama, scaryyyyy.(!!)

fate bring us together, let us sit together on the first lesson.
we even plan to be in the same group & get rid of the other girls in the class without telling each other. LOL, telepathy?! heh heh! :p
project was kinda hell but we just managed to get it done in the end! 3 cheers for us! & 3 smileys for us !:D:D:D

on off sms & chats on msn.
till one day we decided to meet up!!
somewhere during july or august? (:
meet ups just to talk & confide to each other, aww, i love that feeling! :D

thank you for all the talks.
thank you for being such a sweet girl-friend! :p
thank you for being there for me!
i think you really understand me alot alot! hehe!

thank you for being there for me girl!

thou at times, bad times/shit times happened to us.
we managed to clear the air & back to normal.

LOVE LOVE YOU GIRL!
im sorry that i can`t plan much cause my camp clash with your bdae..
enjoy your special day alright?
SEE YOU LATER ! ♥♥

P.S: im off to camp & i had a blast with my polymates the whole of today! :p
update when im backkkkkk, not sure when since im busy on weekends too.
till then people! (:

knocked out. |:

2009-10-12T02:11:00.001+08:00

sometimes i am lazy to explain about whats going with my life.
because i know whats going on..

i realise that..
despite all the unhappiness or bad first impression;
as long as one doesn`t go over the limits,
treat me nice & i will do the same thing, like a mirror reflection?
just find it unexplainable.
isn`t being fake but just normal reaction?
going with the flow & being accepting!
but it doesn`t happens all the times too thou..

some friends are meant to be forgotten.
some friends are meant to remember for life.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
anyway,
meet up with gene on Friday to shop for presents!
poor thing he, he accompanied me walk back & fro the 3 shopping malls @ Tampines for about 5 hours. |:
& i am 1/4 done with what i need to get, ayeee..
thank you so much bro! :D

went back home & waited for boyfriend! :DD

woke up late on Saturday, thus decided not to meet cs & Joan..
sorry bro & twin ! ):
next saturday; promise !!
headed to Boyfriend's new house instead to accompany him to unpack stuffs.
i was listening to 98.7fm, lying down relaxing thou. LOL
headed down to eski bar to celebrate Elaine's advance birthday! (:
love the coldness! :D
(waiting for photos to be uploaded! :P)

& i almost died on my way back.
i thought i was okay but i didn`t know the aftermath effect is so p-o-w-e-r-f-u-l! -.-
lousy drinker(tsk!), drank too fast i guess..
vomited quite a number of times, my very first hangover i guess.
should have just drink like how i usually did, minimum! tsk tsk tsk....... =.=
still managed to get home & i want my bed so so so badly, lol!
headache ahhhhhhhhhh!

sooooooo glad that B is with me to take care of me throughout!
sorry & thank you love ! ♥

was supposed to go help out LIFE(sorry!) & go shopping on Sunday but headacheeeeeeeee!
rest at home & watch tv!
boyfriend came & accompanied me during the day, hehe!
i called up Magdelene & khei too! miss this 2 girlfriends so so so so much ! ):

btw,HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONCE AGAIN ELAINE ! :D

gonna go shop later in the day for presents again with gene![:
Wednesday to Friday = oct orientation camp!
Sunday = LIFE event( promised!)
school is starting next week, so the boredddddddddd!

P.S: tag meeeeeeeeeee ! ):
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
baby, i just wanna be close to you always!
oh you make me smileeeeeeee.
love love you uber much !
our 5 months on this coming thursday! HEHE! ♥

a day with dearest mummy!

2009-10-07T23:32:00.004+08:00

finally a day with dearest mummy! :D

she accompanied to Tiong Bahru to collect my stuffs.
won a mascara from CLEO, hehe! :p
shopped awhile @ the shopping center.
bought...
fake lashes, glittering sliver eyeshadow(?) from e shop;
brush & a top from random shop;
minimum spending eh? haha!

came back Bedok & a temporary stall caught our eyes!
cute toothbrush holder that cost $1 each!!
they even have my favorite of all times! HELLOKITTY, of cause must buy. lol!
bought 2 more of other patterns for boyfriend & Jaslyn cousin too. hehe. :p

accompany mummy to shop for tees before heading back home..

even thou its just few hours, im glad! :D
cause dearest mummy has been busy ever since grandpa got hospitalized...
i have no idea how to help actually.
despite being discharged from the hospital..
grandpa is partially blind, he can`t control his bladder well, etc etc.
)):

& oh, i still owe mummy a treat! ):

anyway, im happy for 2 days in a row, not bad huh!
going back to school tomorrow for fun. lol!

heh, taken during my station game! :p
wo ai ni worzxzxzxz ! thanks for always being there (like always)!♥

smile ?

2009-10-06T23:51:00.000+08:00

i will be strong, i will be stronger!

i will take things slow.
i will be positive.

i had a good sleep & got myself ready for a brand new day. (:

went back school for program meeting today.
after 'throwing' everything i could think of, plan set?
& i suddenly feel like playing ice breaking games, so....

we played a few random games for 3 hours plus?!
enthu right, lol!
blind mice was the best, got us all so tireddddd. |:

left school at 7plus, boyfriend fetched me home! :D

im smiling whole day, enjoying..
what about you, you & you ? (:

im happy today, what about tomorrow? the day after?....

sick but not beaten!

2009-10-05T23:07:00.002+08:00

im finally backkkkk!(with mixed feelings.. |:)

felt lost...........

anyway, let me backtrack alill...
working for F1 ! :D
that 3 days was super duper tiring but worth.
made new friends, gained some experience, watched a little bit of the race too!
i think the best part was listening to backstreet boys live for free! :DDDD
melteddddddddd. :x

& the shiock part is i get my pay the very next day after that 3 days! HEHEHE!
went shopping with the girls after that & i bought nothing!
dinner @ fish & co, no idea why the share for fish & chips @ suntec seems so huge.
all of us ate half & we are sooooo full, should have shared! tsk!

& not to forget, thank you baby!
thank you for fetching me back home late at night for that 3 nights!♥
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday was ESC sub-com workshop!
kinda fun, enthu participants, i like ! :p
the highlight was the final clash, almost everyone was wet except yours truly me. LOL
was "siam-ing" the water throughout. :D
everything ended around 6+ i think?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
wednesday to saturday = Diploma Club/Mentor Training Camp (DCMTC)

the unlucky me fell sick at the wrong time..
down with fever, flu, throat infection. -.-
that 3/4 days were horrible, fighting against the illness & pretending to be okay. -.-
vomit like mad, no appetite & i almost thought it was winter time. -.-
didn`t bear to just go home, plus who's at home? sigh..

was upset that i can`t really help out after all the planning initially;
but ended up going to the LT to debrief with zx & xl.
seeing the whole flow going well really make me feel so much better!
thanks guys for the hard work, really! ((:
night walk was hard work but GREAT SUCCESS, woohoo~

i really wanna thanks everyone for the concern, taking care of me, etc
my fellow programmers, seng, siqi, etc etc & of cause my stupid boy! :D
& really thanks to log that i can sleep on mattress, pillows, blankets! :p
Joan feels super loved! hopes my immune system becomes stronger huh! lol

overall the whole camp is a great success! GOOD JOB!

perhaps all along im the one that has doubts about myself.
felt disappointed that i didn`t meet my own expectations.
was pretty upset to be frank..
but real glad for all the support! (:
nevertheless, i really learnt alot!
especially how i manage stress & help the year 1s along the way. [:
i have no idea how good or bad i am but i will jiayou!

i just cant hyper up with people unless close ones..
& thats me.. |:

p.s : ho chor seng! really thanks alot for the talk!
p.s.s : xl ! thanks for the support all the way!
p.s.s.s: jan! pig, thanks for the accompanying me throughout!
p.s.s.s: every single one of you in program! thanks for all the laughter/hardwork/etc! :D

EDDIECHENWENWEI, I LOVE YOU !
thanks for the care & support throughout the camp! ♥

& boohoo! i missed this year's mid autumn festival! ))):
been sleeping non-stop....

busyyyyyyyy !

2009-09-29T22:29:00.004+08:00

super busy !
log in my hotmail account & i got near 60 emails...

Friday = work for F1
Saturday = work for F1
Sunday = work for F1
Monday = get pay & meet the girls i work for F1
Tuesday = help out ESC workshop
Wednesday = camp
Thursday = camp
Friday = camp
Saturday = camp

miss out going out with classmates.
miss out the fun.
didn`t get to meet my girlfriends too!
))))):

lack of sleep & my leg is aching ! ):
back for a proper update next week !!

pissed

2009-09-21T23:59:00.002+08:00

short tempered.

definitely not because of mood swings.

DAMN.
got so much to say, arghs,fffffff@#@&#^#&^&!

immune. some things that just could not be blog. oh well.

i have no idea whats the purpose of this post too.
just feel like typing some words, some letters, whatever.
bye.

happy 4 months ♥

2009-09-16T14:56:00.001+08:00

F-O-U-R M-O-N-T-H-S ! 4! 4! 4! 4! ♥♥♥♥

my silly boy called at 11.53pm & asked me to go downstairs.
fetched me over to bedok reservoir, just some random place.
he asked me go to the backseat and.....
i received my first bouquet of flowers from him ! ♥
hehehehehehehehehe ! happy 有没有 ! :D
& he fetched me home after that. [:

headed to school for program meeting only at 3+, sorry!
was using my eye power to help/support them, lol!
cause im wearing skirt. :x

traveled down to orchard via bus 518.
had ice cream buffet @ Ion Swensen!
walked around Ion for awhile & bus-ed home..
btw its my first time to Ion, sua ku lo -.-

& as for today,
my dear brother; ho chor seng POP lo!
& we are going to bedok reservoir later to run? jog? walk? hahaha!
posted on facebook & i got evil friends that look down on me, tsk! LOL
lets hope i don`t die halfway! -.-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
陈汶伟,我爱你！♥
thank you for the past 4 months! :D
you always remind me that i am not alone.
without fail, you are really always there. [:

"Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass."

i made my decision..

2009-09-14T23:16:00.001+08:00

• manicure & pedicure on Friday night! :D
• chilled at siglap with boyf & co after that.
• 7 of us ! :D

me like the colour & the flowerrrrrrs, hehe ! :P

Saturday
•swensons for dinner !

JUMP! was really super duper awesome! 2 THUMBS UP !
despite being a non-verbal performance, their powerful actions expressed everything!
was pretty impressed by them throughout!
& till now, i have no idea how can they jump so so so high ! CLAP CLAP ! :DDDDDDD
they are sincere professional performers.
the $ is worth.
& this is what i had for boyf for our 4 months, love youuuu! :D

Timbre with boyf & co after that was quite relaxing.
the 8 of us! :D
drink just that tiny bit. (:

Sunday
& yes, i finally decided to remove my eyebrow piercing. ]:
letting it to recover now..

haha, im quite stubborn eh?
despite having so many people stopping me, i still went to pierce.
same goes for my tattoo.
sometimes i just wanna listen to myself & try i guess? |:
no regrets!!

IT show is so packedddddd!
went down wanting to find ben, zx, jan & etc;
but only managed to find zx. TOO MANY PEOPLE LA ! ):

• program meeting in the morning today;
• next meeting is at 11am tomorrow.

ITS GONNA BE OUR 4 MONTHS REAL SOON, HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH ! 15TH 15H 15TH ! :D

tough decision huh?

2009-09-11T02:54:00.003+08:00

(tired face |:)

RESULTS ARE FINALLY OUT !!
luckily i registered for receiving results via sms,
& luckily i got boyf to check my gpa for me in the afternoon!
~~BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO LOG IN TO TP WEBSITE FOREVER. wth.~~
okay, logged in already, hahaha !

Netinfra : B
Intelapl : B+
Sdp : C+
Dmsd : C+
Wireless : B
Sociology : B

quite satisfy with my results because i see no D this semester..
BUT no A too ): sadded...

managed to pull up my gpa by that little bit.. from 2.36 to 2.55.
better than nothing lo ...
TRY HARDER AGAIN NEXT SEMESTER ! T.T

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
anyway, like i mention at my previous post.
went to the seminar with dearest haiye & i was so tireddddd.
can`t get to sleep the previous night, tsk !

this trip isn`t wasted, not at all.
was kinda inspired & motivated?
things i don`t experience in my daily life, something special.
met this 1WO & im really glad that i met her.
i love the way she shares her experience with me & dearest!
the most modern madam i ever met? perhaps? haha!
anyway, it got me a little interested at the end of the day.

perhaps most of the comments were be negative.
"siao ah?", "really not, you can make it not" etc etc etc..
but well, i will really go & think about it.
plus, it isn`t confirm guarantee that will go in also ma...
who knows? maybe i will change my mind? |:

before i can think further, i need to build up my physical!!
JIAYOU JOAN! hahahaha.
no strength = no talk ; LOL!
saying seems so so so easy but what about carry it out?
well, to the most extreme opposite, hard!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
not really a sudden big dream(s) but dream(s) that i wish to work towards.
not really a sudden motivation but motivation that pushes me further to achieve more.
all these while, so many "big dreams" & thoughts are going through my mind.
be it school or whatsoever;
both now & the future..(:

because i really realise how much time i have wasted in the past,
how much i could have done to accomplish more things/objectives/goals!
however, things happen for a purpose eh? :P

P.S : F.O.C.U.S & don`t lose grip & be a big loser at the end of the day!
words without actions = NO NO NO
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
lastly...
i will be beside you,
i will be behind you,
i will be there when you need me.
always ! ♥

09.09.09

2009-09-09T17:30:00.000+08:00

09.09.09 = 久久久?
( i don`t what else to link or say with regards to this date, LOL)

one more day & my results for this semester will be out!
nervous.. |:

will be heading to the army women seminar with my dearest haiye tomorrow ! :D
but since the event starts at 1pm & its at Joon Koon there.
omg, i have to wake up at errr, around 9?! T.T

&& was considering whether should i close my eyebrow piercing..
cause of the swollen;
i already know most of the answers will be yes but..
Joan can`t bear lehzxzxz ! 不舍得! LOL

i wanna put braces too ! )))))):
my hair is too dry to have any changes for the moment. ):

& hehe, am looking forward to Saturday because i have a small surprise for boyf ! :D

you taught me how to be happily in love.. (:
instead of being angry, you always hug me & ensure everything is over.
i just love you..♥

another week, just another simple week.

2009-09-05T02:15:00.000+08:00

high expectations = good work ?
harsh comments = battleground to train ?

putting others before me.
thinking in others' shoes.
when will i ever care for myself first? tsl!

no doubt i think way too muchhhhhh all the times.
but why should i care things i shouldn`t be at the first place?
ah, whatever.
can`t find the correct words for the explanation i have in heart.

anyway..
4 hours program meetings for both Thursday & Friday.
actually things are almost done.
kinda enjoy the process after all? lol !
its 2am, finally touched up the report. :D

♥boyf is accompanying me, hehe ! :p

backtrack..

1st sep : mention that it was my dearest mimi's birthday right?
boyf & me went down to turf city to get a small cake for her!
many many goodies/treats are sold to pamper dogs lo !
biscuits/cakes/etc

cute rightttttttttt ! :P

2nd sep : meet up with michelle/baobei awhile at tampines.

HAPPY 4 YEARS BEI ! LOVE YOU ! <3

you will always be my loveeeeeee!
me see you = happy worzx ! :P

until i met you;

2009-09-01T02:43:00.002+08:00

why do humans say harsh words without thinking twice?
human nature i guess? tsk!

been blog-hopping & saw so many familiar faces.
people that i once had so much fun with,
people that once shared so much with me.
random friends, random thoughts.
everyone is so busy with their life now.
years passed, where are the once you-and-me-friends-forever ?

life is about come & go.
life is about cherish, regret.
life is about stay or leave.
moving on till we drop dead one day down the road ?

forever changing.

Until I met you my world was empty;
Until I met you the sky was grey;
And everything I thought that I believe in;
I can feel it all slip away..

oh, not to forget,
my dearest mimi turn a year older today! :D
& also, happy teacher's day to all teachers out there once again ! :D

hello september!

2009-09-01T00:20:00.001+08:00

goodbye august & hello to september !

so wanna turn 18 suddenly, at least a legal age ! hump!
so that i can at least have the chance to able to obtain a driving license.
sounds so loserish but too bad, who ask me born in Decemeber . tsk!
i should have just stay inside dearest mummy's womb for 1 more month & i will be a January baby then!
but wait, won`t i be one year slower as compared?
ah, whatever. -.-

seems when i will be so looking forward in taking tests/exams? haha!
let's see if i can have a car after that, woohoo! :DDDD
18 18 18 18 E-I-G-H-T-E-E-N !
maybe i should save to get myself a gift, hehe. :p
get inked again ? bag ? clothers ? $$$$$$$$ poof!

& like always, i have been pondering what can i do after i graduate from TP 2 years later.
on-off thoughts of being an air-stewardess or sign on air force.
sounds crazy but well, just some thoughts or goals to work towards for the future?

i kinda enjoy this relaxing holiday for the past few days after all actually.
i don`t have to bother so much.
i don`t have to get angry over rubbish matters.
i mean i don`t have to come in contact with any one or whatsoever ya?
because its just me, my dog, my laptop & boyf after he ends work.
& plus meeting up friends, spending time catching up. how great. :D

oh well, maybe get myself a "super part-time job';
my definition of that is jobs that last less than 3-4 days?
gonna go back for meetings in school starting Thursday.
so yeah, lets just work towards it then.

just some random photos that i found in my handphone earlier on..

p.s : i am thankful to have a boyfriend like you!
p.s.s : seeing you almost everyday makes me smile instead of getting sick of it, haha!
feel so silly whenever you appear in front of me & i just smile. ♥

Catch G-Force in cinemas 4th Sep 2009

2009-08-30T20:58:00.004+08:00

spotted one email from Nuffnang earlier on.
& they are giving out 50 pairs of tickets to catch the preview screening of the G-Force.
so decided to 'dedicated' one post for it since i am so free. :D

so here it goes...

Presenting an up-coming show..
G-FORCE !! :D

G-Force's

The film revolves around an special FBI organization of trained secret agent animals,
equipped with advanced tools including an advanced earpiece
that allows the mammalian members to talk to humans.
(HOW COOL HUH!)

the 4 main characters in this 3-D show are..
1) Agent Darwin

The team leader that is determined to succeed at all costs!
(the great one eh?)

2)Agent Juarez

The martial arts specialist; the brains of the outfit & he is also fluent in English & Spanish!
(don`t play play man!!)

3)Agent Blaster

The Demolition specialist that is an outragous weapons expert with tons of attitude & a love for all things extreme!
( don`t ever think of attacking him!!)

& last..
My favourite character in G-force is Agent Hurley, also known as..
" piece of cake " (:

His size makes him know as the "pig" in guinea pig too!
i am always attracted to him in the "switch off your handphone advertisement" when i was watching movie at cathay.
He & his cute moves really got me laughing every time without fail.
just look at him, super adorable can?!
just so irresistible, haha!

so cute right this movie?!
so gonna catch G-force when it is showing! :D
be sure to catch it too!:p

"Catch G-Force in cinemas 4th Sep 2009"

tied down..

2009-08-23T00:32:00.002+08:00

felt kinda tired this week.
kinda mentally stress out..

grand-dad was admitted to ICU on Wednesday night.
thank god he is out of danger now.
been visiting him almost everyday.
sigh, get well soon & discharged from the hospital real soon. ]:

anyway,1 paper down, 1 more to go.
luckily wireless paper was quite okay.

baby,
thanks for being there for me throughout.
despite my emotions got haywire & got hold of me so many times,
you shower me with all the understanding & care.
accompanying whenever you can till late.
i didn`t chose the wrong guy.. (:

bye, how i wish i can sleep for a week.

happy 3 months ♥

2009-08-18T18:05:00.002+08:00

sooooooo..
i got a cute surprise that got me speechless at 12am on the 15th. :)
boyf's car's backseat was full of balloons.
many many dog balloons, a few flower balloons, one big heart balloon & one Tinkerbell balloon by Samuel, haha!
(what kind of balloons are all these called anyway?! T.T)
sitting in the middle of all of those in the backseat was awwwww. :D

chilled awhile & back home. (:

newyork2 @ dte & watched the proposal @ marina square during night time. another amazing humor love story!

HAPPY 3 MONTHS BABY ! ♥♥♥

was packing my room yesterday, got me a lill emo.
found some forgotten memories here & there.
just how we human lead our life man;
i think this stressful life has pushed us so much;
that we have forgotten how to lead a slow & simple life.
i could hardly remember what actually happens over the past 18 years.
the images, those memories were so vivid.
scary..

anyway,love the easy going lifestyle i just adapted back.
sleep and wake up as and when i want.
go out & etc...
got hooked up with sims3 recently too. hehe

BUT i did study okay!
was writing 5 hours straight of notes for all the topics for wireless till 4am.
wanted to sleep initially after completing half,
but aye, hate to do things half done so yeah.
now my thumb hurts alill. T.T

& not to forget,
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO JAMES & WENBIN !
cheers bro(s) ! :DDDD

i wont allow you to get in my life ever again.

done with all my projects!

2009-08-14T19:51:00.002+08:00

database project interview yesterday was kinda wasted..
we could have scored more marks but im quite satisfied with the whole thing.
most of the credits go to kenny. (:

sdp project interview was okay i guess?
after rushing for nights & editing of report & with the help from zx,qiwen,yuhui,..
its cleared !!:D

ALL MY PROJECTS FOR THIS SEMESTER ARE ALL DONE! WOOHOO.

yesterday sort of marked the last day of class this semester too..
2 more main exam papers to go! |:

& shit, there won`t be any fireworks festival this year. SAD! ))):
(random...)

watched orphan & where got ghost last week.
orphan was so thrilling that it got me so terrified throughout. ><
i think the story plot was very well-done.
unexpected storyline! go watch itttttt, no regrets!
where got ghost was kinda bored to me thou..
few funny scenes that got me laughing, thats all.

somehow the ink on me kinda back my confidence level up a lill.
aren`t i suppose to be all smiling the whole day every single day?
what happen to building up a strong character?
what happen to controlling of emotions?

wait till i found something worthy enough for me to prove..

1 more day to our 3 months!
the thought of it make me so excited!
so anticipated! :D

HEHE, off to play some games. :P

tough week

2009-08-12T23:56:00.000+08:00

i feel kinda terrible this week.
my heart feel so heavy.
perhaps im the one having doubts on myself.
i just couldn`t stop thinking.
sharing doesnt really helps me actually..

crying seems more tougher but at the same time becoming more hurtful.

thanks for being beside me when i need you.
thats more than enough.
at least i know i can show my emotions to you.
plus you have seen my weakest side.
3 more days to our 3months.(:

oh well, 2 more projects to rush.

bye.

tiring week....

2009-08-07T02:53:00.003+08:00

"being forgetful can be a blessing in disguise.
its better off as compared to remember too much little details in life.."

cheeyong's 21st birthday celebration last saturday was great.
gathering together with one another;
seems like going back week zero.
& the best part is catching up with them, esp with twin, cs, jan. (:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
one word to describe this week?
EXHAUSTED(!!!!)

2 more lab tests next week.
2 more projects to rush/complete by next week.
1 week of study break the following week.
2 main exam papers.
6 weeks of holiday! :DDD

for now,the long weekend is here ! YAY. :D

muscle ache came for me.
run/walk/jog one outer round at bedok reservoir on wed evening really kills.
whens the last time i really ran? during my secondary school days?
man.. its been 1 year+ ? |:
luckily boyf waited for me in between. :p
& we stroll back school while the 4 of them ran back.
TIRED but i arent one loser cause i dont go like..
" wah lao eh...,aye...fucking tired leh...etc etc"
yes yes, i used to do that, as if my life is gonna be taken away. :x
okay, at least i am kinda motivated as compared, endurance is the word!!
no, slimming down is the way to go! hahaha!
but hell, why does my heart feel so tight..?
i can`t breathe properly, lousy T.T
i wonder where you guys leave your lungs at before the run. HAHA
i have no NS training waiting for me, luckily me cause im a girl.
hehehehehehe!

not forgetting,
G.I.JOE IS AWESOME!
personally i find it a good show, i didn`t feel bored throughout.
GO WATCH K! :D

meeting my boy as and when we could is just great!
seeing you every morning before i go for my lessons really brighten up my day!
seeing you every evening when my school ends is just comforting. xoxo! ♥

i smile while thinking of you;
each day i tell myself..;
i just wanna love you more each day.. ♥

its going to be 3am soon,
NIGHTS PEOPLE!

friday evening with B

2009-07-31T23:39:00.000+08:00

IA project is finally completed.
the interview was quite okay i guess..

1 project down, 2 more to rush ! ):

so..
slept till 3pm.
tried making the chocolate already & the second try was better, hehe. :p

told boyf a white lie or should i say love lie? hahaha
got myself prepared & all but lied to him i was real tired & i needa sleep more.
talking to him with my 'oh-so-sleepy tone' and he was kinda disappointed. :x
so upon reaching aljunied mrt, gave him a call.
& that silly boy was out of words & touched, hehehehe. :D
i mean its his last day of work, how would i not go fetch him ya? (:
i mean ya, i seldom do things like that but HEH, i can be that thoughtful at times still. hahahaha!
so boyf will be working in school starting from next monday. YAY (!!!)

train-ed to cityhall & had new york new york for dinner, yummy! :D

walked around for cheeyong's birthday present.
bought one cute card too, will blog about it the next time i post. :P
and boyf sent me back homeeeeeeee.

did whatever i can for sociology powerpoint.
3 quizzes back to back on monday,tuesday & wednesday next week. T.T
TIRING!!!!!!!

you will always be the one i think of whenever i wake up.
its just that simple, with you loving me & me loving you. ♥

projects!

2009-07-29T21:45:00.004+08:00

i hate projects. i hate projects. I HATE PROJECTS.

i hate irresponsible people! _|_
alright, i am cool.

& boyf is sweet enough to come back school to wait for me for the last 2 days after his work. :D
love love youuuuuuuu!♥

alright, gonna try figure out my IA project now.
luckily it's thursday tomorrow!! but damn, netinfra project part3 tomorrow...
so gonna sleep on friday.
luckily i have lessons on monday to thursday only this semester. :p

finally gonna meet my dearest twin & so many more on saturday, hehe!♥

& oh btw!
MacDonald is giving away hellokitty(!!!!) as happy meal toy starting from tomorrow i think!
GO EAT & GIVE ME THE TOY OKAY, PLEAAAAAAASEEEEEE?! HEHE :D

okay, this whole post is super random.
just here to blog cause... er.
cause i just feel like blogging ?! T.T

okay,BYE!

the right one :p

2009-07-25T15:04:00.002+08:00

school is a bitch.
shall dedicate this short post to my precious instead!

to me, you are a great boyf.
you will do everything within your means. :D

just like yesterday,
had a very very bad stomach cramps, super duper pain ! ]: ]:
boyf actually walk/run to the nearest 7-11 & back in less than 15mins.
& the 7-11 is looks so so so so far away from when i am. T.T
seeing him sweating like hell just to get the pills for me was just speechless..
i have no idea how many guys will do this.
but im touched & glad that my boy is willingly to do all the small lill things just for me.

i always have you to fall on.
thank you dear, i love you very very very much! :D

i finally realise this logic.
love is meant to a give & take thing.
don`t take your love ones for granted.
cherish what is in front of you.
hope this mindset stays for long. :x

i found someone that will treat me the way i deserved to be treated.
what i have went through previously was fuck up.
stupid is the word.
& yes, i still hate you to the core bastard.
fuck off!

i should be happy!

2009-07-20T23:25:00.001+08:00

kinda busy last week to update..
sometimes i just felt so *$^$*^@$* but ah, whatever!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
alright, back to happy stuffs...

13thJuly; Ron's 21st!

dinner @ east coast lagoon.
birthday boy treated us cab fares & dinner, thanks ! :D
boyf came down just to pass us get a birthday cake, muacks !♥

other pictures are at facebook ! (:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

15thJuly; OUR SECOND MONTH ♥
just a simple dinner @ HK cafe. [:
we ended up talking about friendship,(...)
but nevertheless, i love you very very muchxzxz k! :D
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

17thJuly; out with the 4 of them(cousinE, wenbin, alex, david) :D

dinner @ eighteenchefs.
i find it nice & cheap, go try it if you haven`t. its at simei. :D
back to bedok, ktv for 3 hours, hehe!
just like last week, cousinE is high for that straight 3 hours without any alcohol(!)
hahah, we even video-ed down. :p
boyf came & fetch all of us after that, LOVE YOU!♥

& oh, i tried making chocolates for the first time during the day too !
half success half failure i guess?
BUT STILL, MY VERY FIRST TIME :D

other pictures are at facebook ! (:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
J: eh B, you know wednesday got the Solar eclipse leh.
E: orh, i know already, just watched the news.
J: wah lao eh, everything you also know ! why everytime you know earlier than me one! $#^@$#^
E: er.....

few minutes later..

J : eh B, you know hor wednesday got the Solar eclipse leh !!
E : HUH ISIT?! how come idk sia, clever girl!
J : HEHEHEHEH :p

♥原来简简单单的爱是多么甜美；
原来被爱的人疼和爱是多么的幸福，
谢谢你每天疼我，爱我。

another good weekend (:

2009-07-12T18:02:00.000+08:00

normal school routine from Monday to Thursday.

meet up with my dearest girl on Friday.
she was late, leaving me waiting alone at Tampines1.
& i encounter weird stuffs that left her laughing like mad, lol!
manicure + pedicure + eyebrow trimming = :D
i love spending time with this crazy girl,
we always came up with so much nonsense & laugh as if there are only the both of us. :D
dearest boyf came & fetch me home after that. ♥

ktv session with boyf, cousinE, A & G.
i always tend to get bored halfway & feel so fucking sian.
but no, with my botak cousin beside me, we both went high especially towards the end.
its been so long since i hang out with them.
its been so long i had a great laugh with them...
i truly enjoy that few hours. [:

& not to forget,
khei, please dont stress yourself too much!
& yes ! i want to meet youuuuuu. ♥

i am happier than before, no.
we are happier than before.
despite always wanting more in life,
being beside each other is what both of us truly want.

"its so peaceful looking at you smile.." ♥

tonight, i fall for you again.

2009-07-05T18:20:00.001+08:00

a deal between me & zhengxiong. thanks friend, really ! :D

do we really remember those hurtful moments instead of the happy ones ?

isn`t able to go jason's agm on monday, grats btw!
esc agm on tuesday was great, grats all! :D

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PRCS 10th anniversary on friday was great actually.
me, along with jingyuan, weijie & jonan went back together.. [:
if not for jy, i wouldn`t have wanted to go in the end; ty sister! :p
didn`t regret, hehe!
those old good times were just memorable.
catch up with quite a number of mates too.
we were supposed to meet at 4 but ended up me & b>wj were punctual.
we are like the center of attraction, like some aliens or animals in the showcase;
passerby(s) kept looking at us due to our dressing i suppose. lol?
saw nikki/daddy at whitesand while waiting.
nice bumping into you & catching up with you dad! :D

accompanied them to smoke under the sun & my temperature was 37.1. HOT
the whole event ran smoothly & i find the food quite nice too.
&&&& the camera man approached us for an interview & i agreed !
pulled jonan with me since wj & jy were shy T.T
i mean its once in a life time right? being part of this whole thing.
unless they decided to cut away our scenes. LOL
accompanied the guys to E!Hub & i cabbed to look for boyf.

hehe, thanks sister & now i have prcs couple bear. :p
CLICK for more photos @fb! :P

those flashbacks make me smile & hurts a little at the same time.
i can`t remember every single one i met for that 4 years.
i can`t remember every single thing i went through for that 4 years.
but i remember how i gradually changed, till eventually to the positive side. :p
let`s move on, hopefully..?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCIENCE CENTER TRIP ON SATURDAY WAS JUST WONDERFUL! :DDDDDDDDDDDD
plus im with boyf & my 2 best friends, HEHE ! :D
i took around 100pictures with zhixin's camera, yay!
playing around, exploring as thou we are kids, cool okay!
& i laugh throughout the whole day till i got real tired at the end of the day.HA!
dinner at raffles city with guang yao with us. :D
went separate ways as me & boyf are watching ICE AGE 3.
cuteeeeeeeeeee! go watch if you haven k!

or:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_JY3ozIt3_rk/SlB8R5OnpcI/AAAAAAAABOA/cNOswYCezaw/s200/9.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354916603805279682" />
CLICKfor more photos @fb! :P

i felt so addicted to camwhoring recently.
using up memory like as if its unlimited. LOL
even boyf's phone is full of my photos. hahahaha! YES :D
hehe, love dressing up nicely! :p

& oh, all of us have choices don`t we?
digest this logic ya? [:

i feel more kid than usual this week.
& thank you for this great weekend, i enjoy myself so so much!
i love laughing non stop & with you smiling upon looking at me! :p
silly boy, i will be safe & sound.
i will be happy everyday, we will be. [:
i love you♥

what happen?

2009-07-01T16:30:00.002+08:00

been awhile i really type out my thoughts.
just feel like ranting, aren't being emotionally thou. :p

why does it seems that i am the only one left behind;
while everyone has already move on.. ?

i hate this whole process.
to think,to question myself, asking myself so much.

the problem lies with me trying too hard, caring too much.
i care too much of how people feel towards me.
i care too much of how others may feel.
so much past encounters make me grow, to be more mature & understanding.
but is it really helping me or people around me;
or perhaps its just making myself more miserable instead?
what i gain back in return?

sometimes, a simple hello or even a smile is enough.

"friends won`t leave you just because you are busy/etc, they will still be there."
what happen to friends forever?
just like what happen to love you forever, till eternity?
words like this are what i call white lies.
lying to ourselves just to make us feel better.

to me, nothing lasts.
we came to this world with nothing, we will left with nothing but perhaps memories?

suddenly..

every single time before i even have the chance to get panicky/overreact/upset/etc,
you are there, you are always there.
all the assurance, the talks, the messages, the hugs, your concern, your love, your presence;
ensuring me that no matter what it takes, i will smile everyday.
i hate to believe in love, i hate to make promises, i hate to miss someone.
i hate to feel afraid, i hate to lose you one day, i hate to feel hurt.
i feel nothing but scare & selfish..
you know it but at the end of the day,
i fall for you deeply each day & i miss you so badly at random times.
the efforts, the changes, the way you treat me, i see it so clearly.
to me, you are the best.
when things happen, you are there to listen & guide me.
deep down inside, i feel so much better, all i need is you to understand & you did.
sometimes, i can`t help but feel that you deserve someone better..
even though things change ever since we got together, but ya, gain & lost i suppose..?
life still goes on.. (:
you are always just beside me.
so do remember to turn back & i will be behind supporting you.

thank you baby, really. ♥

i will fall for you over & over again.. (:

2009-06-28T17:45:00.001+08:00

im back & with quite a number of photos. :p

first week of school is bored shit.
i miss boyf like mad in school.
my results are average, all passed. [:
im even lazy to condemn.

anyway, backtrack..
zx's 21st birthday;

dinner with clique

the 3 of us. [:

been hanging out @ tampines mall, century sqaure, tampines1 for 4 days. T.T

wednesday:
shopped around the malls with iqah before cds. (:

thursday:

met up with ♥ weening/mummy after school, hehe :D
& so coincidental, we wore the white shorts & pink tops & the same cardigan !
the both of us got telepathy :D
dinner @ pastamina & walked around the malls.

friday:

finally meet up with my dearest girl, haiye!♥
just how many times we met good friends in cds class? haha!
walked around the malls again.
catch up with each other & had a good talk. :D

waited for boyf to end work & headed back school for ashare agm. [:
slacked around in school with the rest till 10plus.
had dinner opposite afterwhich.

saturday:

finally went to trim my hair & do a touch-up for my hair colour. :D
its having promotion till the 17th i think. @ PP supercuts.
went down tampines starbucks to meet up with my besties, hehe!
1230am show : transformer with boyf. :D
love the show eh! hehe.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEENING/MUMMY & IRVIN ! :D

as for today,
gonna have dinner outside later.
& aye, just why no temporary close down of school for me. boo!
back to same old routine, boring boring boring!!

at the end of the day,
we are all left with a handful of friends that are true to us.
scratch off those ugly disguise, ewww.

finally updated, finally uploaded all the photos. :p

.
.
.
i will always remember to smile because i got you. ♥
what i always feel is nothing but happy.
its just different, i love you. (:

bits & pieces in life

2009-06-18T04:53:00.001+08:00

就是我们! :D
suddenly those flashback, those memories.
i miss the bond, the laughters, everyone, everything.
somehow, somewhat, we move on; breaking the whole into bits & pieces.
rewind ? forward is what we left.

Zhengxiong's 21st @ halton bungalow yesterday!
i ate quite a lot, was hungry, hahaha!
playing guitar hero with michelle was like damn funny.
watching the guys played wii sports even more funny.
texas poker live was my first time too.
boyf came & fetched me at 11+ (:

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY YEAH BEAR? :D

sdp assignment with Iqah this morning @ TP for 3hours. :D
lunch with Zhixin @ short circuit for 2 hours. :D

sometimes when i expect lesser from life,
i realise i am much happier.
& i felt so contented all of a sudden ;
the feeling of getting out of the 'box', haha!
thank you friends.
be it friends that lend me a listening ear,
or friends that i finally able to catch up with.
or even those small chats;
all these just make me smile;
much appreciated! (:

那美好的感动,
你答应我的我都记得,
我们的承诺.
one day down the road; i will be able to promise you; trust me.

its going to be 5am soon, i am off to bed!
& oh, its dearest mummy's birthday too ! <3

what else but blank..?

2009-06-15T04:30:00.002+08:00

time: 4.30am
i don`t wish to sleep or rather, i can`t sleep.
been sleeping after 5am & waking up in the late afternoon lately.
& thinking non-stop has been a habit to me;
since when i stop thinking .. ?

will i make a difference in someone's life?

the string loosen & it just flew away.
instead of feeling like a real loser;
perhaps i should really reflect & aim for what i really want.
what happened lately..?

& oh, the 6 of us finally meet up for dinner @ 85 on thursday.
still waiting for sis to upload the photos.
i enjoy every moments even though its only a few hours.
thank you so much the 5 of you; khei,wenn,jy,wj,yq. :D

a well-spent weekend.
the ghosts of girlfriends past is a show that is worth watching. :D
drag me to hell is all about effects that scare you, weird storyline(?)
i want to watch more movies. :p

& i took over 60pictures while boyf is resting his eyes for a few minutes.
cool. :D

happy first month boyf. [:
i will cherish whatever you have given me.
for what you have gave me is more than enough.
perhaps i realise love is something just so simple.
love you!

.
.
.
.
.
.

i will change just to be stronger.
i will..
~~greed,temptation,why?~~

updates of my joy.

2009-06-08T18:20:00.000+08:00

sometimes i just got too tired of proving to others that i gave up;
i gave up of proving & smile to myself knowing i have done what i need to;
everyone can see who you are on the surface but..
nobody can see as clearly as you see yourself deep down.
so sometimes all we need to do is just filter away all the shit people gave you.
live for yourself instead of living for others.

sometimes just don`t assume that you are the great one;
neither should you think you are using your brain.
think more than that. [:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

YES AH, 2 weeks break is here, hehehehe! :D
& i had a wonderful weekend! :DDDD

0306; HAPPY BIRTHDAY JINGYUAN SISTER ! :D

friday marks the last day of my term test.
first 3 papers were manageable but i guess i kinda screwed up wireless paper.
but aye, forget it. |:
was so looking forward to my family & maternal relatives' chalet.
5days 4 nights, starting from thursday @ saf chalet. big & shuang! :D

after my last paper, went back home & waited for boyfriend.
went there together.
okay so now my family & relatives know who he is.
& the reaction they gave him was nice okay! haha.(:
catch midnight show; blood the last vampire.
perhaps i have no interest in this kind of show, i felt so boring & a waste of money. T.T
back home after that & i fell asleep...

6th june ; saturday
boyfriend fetched me over to the chalet.
cheeyong & twin fetched me over to sharon's chalet at night, thanks alot! :D
chilled at there, sitting together & talk can be that entertainment.
calyvn fetched me & boyfriend off, thanks ! :D
as usual, im tired & back home for more sleep...

also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEITING DARLING ! <3

7th june; sunday
chilled at the chalet with boyfriend till night time.
all of them decided to check out & go home to rest.
so the both of us went separate ways with my family.
headed down to T3 for popeye since im craving for it few days back. :p
chilled at east coast after that.
the clock struck 12 & off we go home. (:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

that explains why i am at home the whole of today.
simply because i need to rest, bahhhhhh.

i am happy with my boy.
i am happy with the way he is.
i am happy for all the little things my boy did.

you shouldnt have even give the tiniest concern. FY [:

& HCS, i hope you are doing fine bro ! :D

random!

2009-06-02T18:20:00.000+08:00

felt funny.
after looking at blogs of girls in their secondary school times.

those days when we just stepped into teenager life.
doing all those shit & nonsense & still thinks its cool. hahaaha.
part of growing up i guess?
who doesn`t think back & laugh. well, at least i do....( what emotion should i insert,lol)

still, i just felt unfair.
i shouldn`t know so much about life.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

anyway, lunch with ken today.
james supposed to join us after that but that asshole, put us aeroplanes.
didnt we 3 say before we are best friends forever?! LOL
ken, i totally agree with what you say.
those crazy days we had were super fun & enjoyable,
minus the parts of doing nonsense, getting into deep shit & what not.
i won`t deny that. its the fact that we were happy back then.
at least we grew, changed & still as happy despite having to move away from the rest.

best friend, im glad to see who are you today.
i know you can make it if you want to. :D
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

watched Taken on my laptop earlier on.
it somehow show the ugly side of humans. gees..
but then again, if there isn`t any bad guys, there won`t be a balance of good & bad?
okay, whatever. the world isn`t peaceful & safe. T.T

hehe, just a random post.
boyfriend just called & i just ended the call by 'throwing' all my nonsense to him. HAHA!
gonna work out before i meet boyfriend for dinner. :D

this post is really random, ok bye. hehe :p

you spin my head round

2009-06-01T15:50:00.000+08:00

when i think everything is going real fine,

one question stuck my mind..
" how to balance my life with family, love, friends, studies? "
" how to split myself to so many places within one day? "

felt like a real loser when managing stuffs & time..

when i thought i gain so much suddenly.
its wrong, i still lost something in the end.

but wait, i aren`t gonna give up just like that!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 paper down, 3 more to go..
thurs: meet up with my super girlfriend, leongseekhei ! :p

SISTER, im really glad to have you by my side.
i am there for you too yeah?
love you! :D

friday: boyfriend's last day working in school & i treated him dinner.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAWEN!(:
saturday: study & watched terminator salvation during midnight, GO WATCH!; prata for supper!
was supposed to study after that but yet i fell asleep while lying on boyfriend's shoulder. errr..
sunday: study T.T

i am going to have a very busy week !
term test, friends' birthday celebrations, chalets, family gathering, etc...

on a random note,
after 1 year plus of so,
i am about 75% to the body shape i want.
the curves just make me feel so motivated to work out everyday. :D
okay, lets just hope i will slim down more instead of the opposite.
i don`t want to be fat anymore please. ]:

& also,
shihong, thank you for the talk & clearing of misunderstandings.
i appreciate it a lot. [:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i just can`t get enough from you.
i just feel so secured with your arms around me. (:
out of nowhere, you boost my confidence level just like that.
every lill things you do just makes me fall deeper.
i love you & i just love you. :D

alright, i should start revising for tomorrow's paper!
till then. PEACE!

E is my boyf (:

2009-05-26T23:45:00.001+08:00

finally i have the time to blog. :D

graduation on 20th & 21st.
it`s really the so-called official last day.
felt upset that things just 'ended' but happy for them at the same time. [:
all the best & do stay in contact yeah all the graduates?
i will miss you guys & thank you for all the memories.
no idea what to say to all of you actually....
saying goodbye is just hard, sigh..
you people meant something to me, really.
do take care !!

especially the 2 of you.. (:

21st; bf's graduation day
wanted to wear this..

but decided to change as the previous one was too formal. LOL

.
.
.
.
.

things will be back to square one i guess?
like how it was before i met you guys.
boring school.. ]:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

school has been kinda packed with quiz-es too.
term test is just next week, wow?
i realise that i have learnt how to handle stress as compared to last semester.
i tend to always freak out & get so stress out when there's quiz/test/exams.
but now, aye, it is just mere applying of knowledge & answering of questions;
like, whatever.
but still, i will study as what i told myself.
i know i can make it through if i try hard enough.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

alright, & hmmmmm.
i guess i shocked many of you by being with ahem. :P
perhaps its kinda fast & sudden.
but well, i choose my own path & make my own decision ; with no regrets. [:
its my life, my say, why will anyone want to bother anyway? (:
because time will just prove everything in the end too.
nobody can predict the future so yup.
i mean who doesn`t wish a r/s last or even be all smiling every single day?

it may be just the starting but at least,
i dare to say that im willingly to give this love a chance to go as far as we could.
i dare to say that im treating this r/s seriously & not just a play.
i dare to say that i cherish this r/s.

all i can say is, I AM REALLY HAPPY FOR THE PAST 11 DAYS! :D
i can show my real self & get so hyper.
throwing him with all my stuns & being guai-lan with him. OPPS.
i smile throughout the whole day;
i enjoy going to school, looking forward to be in school!

i know myself how you treat me & i appreciate every little things you did dear.
just that im sorry that im afraid of certain things that may happen.
nevertheless, your assurance is more than enough.
i will count the number of days every single day..
i will smile & be strong even if i have to stand alone at times.
i will still disturb you non stop no matter what, HAHA! :D

& that silly boyf did this..

sometimes i still find it hard to accept the way you are behaving, like omg ? LOL
but never mind, thats my boyfriend; the boy that i felt addicted to! :D

okayokay, enough of all these mushy stuffs.
& i blog already alright double E !

i know you will be reading this,
so yeah.
i love you boyfriend E, thank you. xoxo

whatever

2009-05-16T20:21:00.002+08:00

i doubt this is the best time to blog.
i wonder why not just really sit down & study?
care about myself, my life, my family & my studies?
perhaps i should go home everyday after school & minus the times i am going out;
to really study now & even to complete all my assignments.
or even just stay at home..
& just be happy..

someone told me to remember this..
" smile one day or fight one day, its still one day;
so why not choose to smile & leave the unhappiness away;
& i will always be happy..." :D thank you!
i don`t mind have you as my only friend, haha!

when you care for others, who will care for you?
when you understand others, who will bother to understand you?
when you put in all the efforts, do people appreciate ?
when your impression is being condemned;
will people even give a fuck about whatever explanations you have?
how fuck-up it is when you have no say when people just kept assuming?
ended up, you just got all tired & fed-up so leave it.

cause as time goes by, everything will just come to a FULLSTOP.
nobody is born without any motives, greed, intention.

this time round, i have a clear conscious; no regrets! [:
im even tired to dislike or hate anyone.

but then again, i have no idea why i have to tolerate all the shit at home for no reason.
making me feel like staying out till late like what im doing recently.
ah, whatever.
alright people, im off to dinner & back to school work, promise. :D

i will still smile & be happy.
i will still smile & be glad of everyone i have known;be it good or bad.
i will still smile & look forward to the next day.
try it!:D

not forgetting, you. (:

goodbye

2009-05-15T01:25:00.001+08:00

i felt so relieved.
i finally settled the problem that has always been appearing on my mind.
no more dragging, thank you.. [:

goodbye.

thank you

2009-05-13T15:20:00.002+08:00

没有人会因为你哭而怪你......
.
.
.
.
out of nowhere;
i start to get all emotional over so much issues again.
it just sucks being in this state.
not knowing you are happy or sad all the times.
things are going so well in life on the surface.
all these won`t happen if i aren`t thinking so much..
i just can`t understand certain things..

all i hope is to just get together with everyone.
having fun with no conflicts in between among everyone.
but its just so unavoidable.
thats human i guess.. ?
as i look deeper under the surface,
the more i wish to back out......

nevertheless,
you guys that i met during week zero, my classmates, etc
thank you all for making me smile everyday in school. (:

im sorry to neglect a number of my loved ones too.
im sorry for not able to fork out time.. |:

& love,
catching up with you today is just great.
i will be behind you in whatever choices you made yeah?
magdelene will always be joan's pretty girlfriend ! :D

& kheisister,
i wanna catch up with you too!
i can`t wait to talk non stop with you when we meet up.
hehe, love you ! :D

& jingyuan,
wei sister,
i didn`t forget you, i really didn`t.. ]:
calling you up yesterday for that 20mins was just.. :D
don`t so emo already okay!!

& oh, i didn`t forget about you too BEI !
hehe, will call you up for more gossips okay, hahaha!
michellelimkaihui, i want you to smile everydayyyy !
:D

alright, off to cds in 40 mins time..
i will break out of this whole cycle..

heheheh :D

2009-05-11T01:45:00.001+08:00

time : 1.45am
i can`t believe i spend almost 10 hours doing 2 reports.
but at least i make it a point to stay at home for the whole of sunday. :D

been real busy, reaching home only after midnight almost everyday..
i just can`t stop thinking when im at home.

let's see, i got 1,2,3,4.. omg, i got 10 over mosquitoe bites, damn !
random T.T
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
not going to go into details of what happen throughout the week.
i always find that time has been passing super fast.
perhaps the reason behind it is i packed myself with so much things.

in just one short week, just merely 7 days.
so much things happened for both me & people around me, be it good or bad.
all i can say is, accept the changes, accept the facts.
friends are there, take it or leave it.
friends are there, if things get out of hand, solve it else end it & back to hi-bye friends then, what else.. ?
friends are there, make your own choices and don`t regret.
friends are there, don`t complicate things & leave it simple.

if only, a smile can conquer everything..
ignore & smile & it will be over. [:

what`s everyone's most inner thoughts anyway?
keep numb? a BIG NO !

through all these,i really learnt alot.
its yet another lesson of life.
how to take things easy.
how to let things go.
how to move forward.
how to just be neutral..

too bad for me, i just care & 当一切是一回事..
i just feel real awkward thats all..

we meet people unknowingly down the road;
met people meant for you to know; to help you to go through that particular stage of your life..
besides feeling thankful & grateful to those that helped me through.
its more than words to express myself.. [:

actually the things aren`t complicated.
its all my thinking that confuse myself up, bah!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
to end this post,
GO WATCH STAR TREK ! :D
its fantanstic, felt so enjoying especially when i have the position of lying on the sofa just that i didn`t stretch out my legs. LOL!

friday the 13th with kelvin,wilson, jasmine, twin & cs.
gruesome show but quite alright.
but i was covering my face with the popcorn box almost throughout. LOL

& not to forget,
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY ! :D

yawns, why is there school tomorrow. T.T
if only vesak day falls on sunday. LOL

& know what?
joan's best friend is joan. HAHAHA!
twin, i will always be there for you k!
it`s okay you failed the quiz, we will fix our antenna or something, haha!
so that our telepathy works again. :D
meet you & HCS next week !
xoxo,

super fun week!

2009-05-03T18:28:00.001+08:00

if only i can get things right..
if only i didn`t complicate things up..
isn`t most of the girls' dreams to be a princess?
being so blissful?..

hehehehehe.
i had a great week ! :D
kinda long but just wanna keep track of my doings..

monday:
ended school at 4pm & looked for some of them.
headed to TCC to accompany them to rent the gown for graduation.
been there quite a number of time till the auntie recognize me. LOL!
i think i went back home for dinner,can`t remember..

tuesday:
last lesson ended 1 hour early.
called kelvin & i sort of sneaked into their lab lesson, haha!
my first time okay & the teacher really thought i was in their class all along, how blur..
me & kelvin went for our sociology lecture @ 6pm.
followed him to meet up with wilson & co for dinner & back home after that. [:

wednesday :
dinner @ tamp1 with my lovely group of friends!
kinda down towards the end of day too... hai.

thursday:
kept wishing school to end as fast as possible.
cause we are going to xiao gui ling! hehe. :P
waited for cheeyong & he fetched us to tampines mrt station with his dad's pickup.
took mrt all the way to bukit gombak..
eddie,eekian & royston fell asleep.
while i entertain jan with my nonsense & woohoo, we reached already!:D
had macdonald for dinner & my stomach starts to hurt a lill..
but still, i ignore & the 10 of us headed to xiao gui ling.
kinda of disappointing cause we can`t go in but still the view is super nice la!

very dark, other pictures with my twin!

thanks guys for traveling all the way & sort of accompany me there. :D
my stomach starts to hurts a lot towards the end..
all of us headed to andy's house next, rushed to the toilet.
had diahorrea & vommited but i was real fine after that, lol!

lau pau sat was our next stop !
sitting behind on the way there on cheeyong's pick up with chorseng & jan was fun fun fun!:p
love the wind, we were practically just shouting while jan finding targets to dsiturb. :p
ate chicken wings while the rest ate seafood, ewwww prawns ! bah!

yishun dam after our supper !
once we reached, the ice cream man come already, haha!
random cars racing, wooooo.
all of us sat together in one circle.
we ended the night by saying ghost stories T.T
eddied fetched chorseng,me & royston back, thanks ! :D
i fell asleep but woke up when they were saying i weak shit, just nice, HUMP!
reached home around 3,4plus...

woke up from a call from royston!
meeting time : 930am, i woke up : 9am. :x
cabbed down to changi village.
bumped into jonan when i got off the cab.
& when i was going to call one of them, i spotted them as all of us were wearing the orange committee shirt. haha!

WOOHOO, MY VIRGIN TRIP TO PULAU UBIN! :DDDDDD
despite that i can`t even cycle, i went there.
the queue at the jetty was scary, gees.
me & chorseng rented a twin bike.
they ran out of twin bikes so my twin & cheeyong had to take single bike in the end.):
my butt hurts even till now & luckily i don`t have any muscle aches. :x
went to a few places which i don`t even know what, haha!
though is tiring, i really enjoy a lot ! (:
i think im ready to learn cycling now, hehe :p
im amaze by myself that i make it since i don`t know how to cycle. HA!

all the photos are at facebook!

log people were there too!
took some group photos towards the end before we went back to the jetty.[:

back to changi village for dinner.
actually i was planning to only eat my noodles & drink my coconut,
but ended up got tempted by andy & eekian, AYE. haha!
back home via bus 2. [:
like again, i talk & talk till we reached bedok inter. LOL

met up with malik under my house void deck,
he passed me the clothes ken bought for me at thailand.
super duper happy especially when i saw the customize hellokitty jacket with my name on it. YAY, thank you bestie, really appreciate it alot ! :DDDD
:D

& once i logged in to facebook,
i know what to expect already, you people are powerful huh. bah !

thank you the 12 of you for making this trip such a success!
if not for you guys, i doubt i will go ubin for my whole life. LOL.

nua abit at home, eddie called & i went to bath.
he fetched me over to meet up with eekian,andy & ong @ kallang macs.
headed to kent ridge road after meeting up with hoon & another kelvin.
sit together & hear their stories, i-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g! :D
plus some modified cars racing in & all, cool.
eddie fetched me home after that, thanks again ! :D

sleep sleep sleep till late afternoon.
miscommunication between me and dearest daddy, ended up didn`t go ktv. D:
was so-call stucked at home the whole day without any food T.T
whole family at my grandpa's house till forgotten about, how sad right!
reached grandpa's house at 10+pm, madness, hungry la!
by the time, no bus to go down ehub already.. boo!
after their mahjong, reached home its already 2+am, yawns, slept not long after that.

woke up at 2+pm today.
not going out as dearest brother suggested to have dinner.
back to school tomorrow, YAWNS.

hanging out with you guys just make me realise how life can be a positive one!
i aren`t as bad as what i think ?
i become more out-going too!
i used to hate to sweat but now i think i have get used & think its shuang to sweat.LOL
its always the same old line..
" i didn`t regret knowing all of you!" :D
having lunch with some of you is such a joy too!

more activities soon okay? :D

& i really realise i can talk non stop, getting more talkative, opps :x
but not to everyone i can like that de hor, LOL.
at least i don`t talk nonsense, did i? hahaha!

& another thing, i have been eating non- stop, no gaining of weight please D:

hahahah, finally an update of the whole of this week!
back soon okay! xoxo

i love this picture as much as i love this group of people!

PROGRAMMERS I LOVE YOU GUYS

2009-04-25T20:09:00.003+08:00

it`s true that..

" we have no control to certain things in life "

as you move on, you will meet the right ones.
when will i meet the right ones?
is it me or ?

sometimes shit just happen.
sometimes you are just not good enough.
perhaps, just perhaps..
trying suppressing your anger & you will notice the differences it made.

but somehow,
some people just don`t deserve you giving in to them.
considering that maybe without them will be a better choice.
nb, i must be blind to care for you so much for the past few years!
you really went over the limit, thats it, game over.

i aren`t really the heck care type, neither am i the only care if its involve me type.
well, its obvious that im the emotional & sensitive type;
that thinks both the good & bad sides of any incidents that happened..

all the likes & dislikes towards one & another
all the conflicts & gossiping are just unstoppable.
actually being a 2 headed snake is the worst of all.
oh well..

sometimes its not others that are at faults.
sometimes a reflection does no harm.

sometimes the bad things that happened just cover up all the good moments.
hating/disliking someone is tiring, i chose to ignore.
sometimes being strangers are better off.
perhaps staying this way all along will be a better choice.
i care but just that my ego took control at times.
who says i don`t remember the good times? i do.
i won`t ever forget that night. (:
i aren`t really good at words but ya.
we don`t belong in the same 'world' at the first place anyway.
& in the long run, we just couldn`t get along..
a steady friend; thank you.

everyone has their own life,
try to think beyond what you see on the surface & you will realise..
how 'interesting' some things are.

friends are everywhere, you will meet the right group just then. (:

yet & again, another memorable lesson learnt.. (:
i know that life isn`t that bad right ?
parts & parcel of life, what else but accept things happening? (:

just too much shit happens to me lately...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

had high fever on sunday but insisted to go back school.
i used to feel sian going school;
but for once, i felt excited and motivated to go school on monday! :D
partly is because the programmers are coming back. :D
plus, i don`t wanna miss first day of school.

upon seeing everyone else during break time @ breadboard;
the feeling was awwww.
we can`t meet up for lunch like this next time as times go by already. ):

& dinner with all of them @ tamp1 was GREAT, hehe! :p

rest at home on tuesday & back to school on wed & thurs.

& went for dinner @ chompchomp on thursday too!
what a ride, have to take a total of 3 buses from TP before we reached our destination.
sadly, the food we ordered disappointed us too. D:

friday was the wheel barrel event, was supposed to help out but, hehe :x
slacked around & all.
finally set off for dinner @ 85 market.
the 11 of us. :D

let's go hunt for more food soon ! :D

OH BTW, TP BROKE THE RECORD.
& WOOHOO, ENGINE WON FASTEST,RELAY AND ENDURANCE SEGMENT
& ENGINE THE OVERALL CHAMPIONSHIP FOR HUMAN WHEELBARROW CHALLENGE!

heheheheheh. :D

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the videos, the photos.
i miss every one of you, hai. D:

week zero was nothing but BEST.
besides dancing xi shua shua non stop for that 4 days of so;
we came up with so much nonsense.
"bo zheng hu" is the word for we, programmers, ha ! :D

for myself,
i felt proud & i mean real proud of programmers!!
& we have all the 'departments' in program.
we have admin, log, FA, publicity, etc.
programmers are just fantastic ! :D

on refresher day/day 0;
colour code: RED

the few of us were left to practice all the dances with the fellow mentors, LLs & dipheads.
& woohoo, standing on the 'stage' was great & i enjoyed. :D

was having stomach cramps. T.T

on day 1;
colour code: ORANGE
the freshies were here as early as 8.30am, yawns.
me & shihong was in charge of IFC for the registration.

after that, we continued to do our engine flag.

amelia with her masterpiece, haha.
i seriously think the flag is NICE! :D

teaching xi shua shua @ sports hall was a killer,
but i have joan with me, haha ! (:

after dinner,
while meeting for the main comms meeting to end,
we were playing indian poker! hahaha

i got such a nice card but they tired to sabo me but failed. :p

next was practicing for regatta !

on day 2;
colour code: PURPLE
again, mass dance @ sports hall in the morning.
free flow of milo atfer that, hahahaha!

lunch then wait to go TCC for regatta rehearsal.
super nervous but upon looking at the mentors on top dancing with us,
felt so motivated, thanks to whoever up there!! :D

while waiting for the CM talk to finish before our turn to perform..

& oh, i won`t ever forget the star awards at night!
super funny & happening especially when all we did was slacking away,
waiting for time to pass at CENT room & playing with face paint then...
all of us decided to dress up as characters in journey to the west, woohoo!
other pictures & videos are still under processing though, haha!

on day 3;
colour code: BLACK
& im glad that im given the chance to experience so much thing.
especially performing for regatta in front of thousands of people..

after the whole event, there`s a buffet.
after mr ken talked finish his speech,
everyone dance xi shua shua, awwww. D:

the planning for the surprise bbq was a great success too !
hehe. :p

the last night where everyone gathered together,
the year3s shared with us their experience,
the hugs & tears..
stayed over for another night & went off at 8plus in the morning without anyone knowing, haha!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

even though i didn`t cry during the camp.
upon seeing all the videos & photos,
i cried, missing those fun times & the bonds we had in the camp.. ):

watching the videos over & over again,
just brings back so much memories ):

all the efforts each & every one of the programmers have put in in this whole great show -MTC & week zero- !!
at the end of the day, the sense of accomplishment was indescribable.
adding on to it, i met a group of wonderful friends;
friends that i will love to see every day when im @ TP.
but sadly half of them have graduated. D:
why didn`t we meet earlier.. ?
we will still meet whenever we can yeah ? (:

the whole of this week was just so enjoyable;
being with you guys..
i rather just spend all my free time to find & meet you guys.
can`t imagine when all of you start to go work or go NS. ):

yes, i found a group of friends that i see myself smiling all the times.
yes, i found a group of friends that are always around me.
yes, i found a group of friends that are with me when shit happens.

nobody knows how far this friendship can bring us to.
as time goes by, we will all be busy with our own stuffs & drift apart..
but at least i know deep down, those memories are locked.

another chapter of my life, till we meet again..
i can imagine all of you looking smart & pretty on may 20/21. (:
all the best & yes, i will surely miss you guys ! :D

headhead: sharon!
head(s): andy! alivina! eekian! hoon!
subcom(s): amelia! belvin! chorseng! cindy! cheeyong! daphne!
eunice! elaine! huihui! jan! joanna! joel! jiekun!
joanT! ME! kenneth! kelvin! royston! shihong! serene!
sam! sherry! weilin! wendy! wilson! yong qiang!

plus a few others that i met, morgan, huiling, zhixin, jason, deming, etc etc! :D
seriously, THANK ALL OF YOU for making my first 2 camps such a happening & memorable one!
more than words to say.. :D

too much photos to be posted so go facebook!

i finally have the time to really type out everything, summarizing everything.
a dedication to everyone is too wordy, haha!
so yeah, all of you will be remembered!

I LOVE PROGRAMMERRRRSSS!
check ko fi fa...
sayyyyy aaaayyyyyy, engine powerrrrr.

till then,
xoxo!

HAI

2009-04-13T18:20:00.000+08:00

bad hair day, HAI!

"Tomorrow will be a better day."

why do one felt threat when all of us are the same kind?
human, HAI.

week zero (:
camp camp camp, back on Friday.
don`t know why feel kinda sian..
& i think i will be having my menses soon, super sickening la, i get irritated for nothing & feel so siannnnnn too ! D:
double sian. T.T HAI.

扫墓 on friday with my relatives was just great.
being together & such.
those memories of my great grandparents.
life still move on for everyone ya? HAI

& oh, going peninsular on a Sunday is just horrible.
i got scare like so many times, gosh.
but at least i got myself a cute bag pack, thanks T. :D

just when im at the urge of falling,
you pulled me back again.

you & me, both have our own life;
till that very day..

sigh ..

2009-04-08T23:24:00.000+08:00

我真的很难过。。
有时真的很累。。

perhaps all it takes is just one tiny little thing..

i felt...
so lost & out of words again.
like why must all these happen on & off? ..
一直不断的重复。。

no point elaborating as it will just be the same.

seriously, who is true or who is just wearing a mask?
change for yourself or change for others?
prove your ability to yourself or prove to others?
being ignorant or just avoiding?
be yourself or be a self?
true or false?
人与人之间的复杂我永远不能理解。。
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
board bus 168 & alight about 5 stops earlier just now on my way back home;
decided to slowly walk back home..
try to slow down your pace & you will notice,
how simple life is,
how quiet is the streets,
how wonderful if everyday life is that peaceful......

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
a visit back to prcs yesterday was great.
those hugs & chats with those great teachers were even heartwarming.
that very late night chat was more than words to say.
things i never knew at all. thankyou (:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
just when i thought everything is going fine..
how many times have i not stop being sensitive anyway?
yes, its just the way we looked at things but..

all of sudden,
i felt that the barrier i built is crashing down slowly....
对不起又再次让你失望了。。

PROGRAMMERS !

2009-04-06T00:20:00.004+08:00

its gonna be a long post again with some pictures! YAY! :DD

THE PHOTOS FOR MTC ARE FINALLY OUT ! :D
the photos are really very nice, great job man!
grabbed some of the pictures. heh!

first station on 1st day :D

last station on 1st day with joan!
& its then we started talking, hehe!:P

scenario walk
i look super tired & chui but still, nice working with you 3!(:

second day, morning PT dance

second game on the 2nd day..
the ragdoll station, the station i enjoyed most ! :p
presenting CHORSENG & HIS TWIN DOLL, haha! :x

& ME!

can you guys see a shape of a body? :p

last game of the day with the team appointed to our lane:D

& one last picture on the last day of the camp!

eekian's bdae chalet last night with the programmers. :D
me & shihong met up with CS & royston @ 4pm.
bought eekian's present & we went to play L4D, heheheh. :p
met up with joan, joanna & sharon @ around 7 @ whitesand.
off we go to the chalet. :p

an enjoyable night with the programmers though not all of them turned up.
but still, i love being with them.
we got high once we started taking photos. HAHAHA
all the photos are at facebook btw, am too lazy to upload all here. (:

she is Joanna & she loves calling me joanjoan,HA![:

along with wendy, CS & royston

JOANs<3

tripe JOs:D

with the birthday boy!

ER MEI PAI, hahaha!

the girls(:

last but not least, the PROGRAMMERS ! :DDDD

will be going out almost everyday next week & camp for the following week.
& school starts after that.
so sorry that i really am packed with stuffs. D:
promise to meet up with my friends whenever im free! (:
& i have an appointment with the nails salon tomorrow. YAY! ^^

i felt rather happier being packed with so much activities.
at least i don`t have to care about so much things, cheers !

alrighty! end of post. :D

i miss you guys!

2009-04-01T15:30:00.002+08:00

AYE, i hate sun burn big time !! D:
skin peeling, uglyyyyyy & itchy itchy. T.T

anyway, went to rebond & re-dye my hair yesterday, hehe. :p
i hope this time round i won`t regret like after ever haircut i had. lol.
washing hair on friday. :D

& HAPPY ARRIL FOOL DAY !
i didn`t trick anyone hor, i v.good one.
& don`t bother tricking me, im clever. LOL!
anyway, enjoy fooling your friends! :p
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
& to add on to my previous post as i was real lazy that time..

& still the same old line,
i really didn`t regret joining the programmer dept.
the experience & feelings i had just cannot be compared.

joining in with so much question marks on mind;
knowing nobody except shihong since we are classmates, lol.
feeling so isolated & out of point.
2 of us have the mindset of just join fun fun & see how it goes;
cause we are like in our own world, separated from the rest.
& we wanted to give up halfway but im glad we didn`t,
ended up, we didn`t regret at all & decided to join more camps.
steady one hor shihong ! :D

i didn`t know it will be so much fun.
i didn`t know the bond will be there after the camp.
i didn`t know i will make so much good friends.
i didn`t know it will be so worth.

but im glad that all those above mentioned happened. :D
knowing so many friends,
especially some of them that i am close with. (:
you people seriously won`t be forgotten by me;
thank you for every single thing too. :D

its then i realise whats real teamwork.
nothing is stronger than bonding together & working together.
i really learnt alot during MTC..

though at times i really felt stupid that i can`t do what im supposed to do,
& have no choice but leave the job to the more experienced;
i felt nothing but stupid & disappointed with myself.
i have no idea whats holding me behind,
but after each try, i realise nothing is impossible.
& i think i slowly got it. (:
its true that you never try you never know, haha!
but at least i could say, i tried & put in efforts..
i really don`t wanna disappoint anyone the next time round. (:

but i still wanna apologize for my wrong doings & inexperienced.
i really envy the energy & control some of you have,
i hope i can see that in me soon.. |:

week zero is nearing, & i hope i can do better than what i did during MTC.
i can`t help but felt that i should have done better..
i can`t help but say sorry that i couldn`t help at times.
but am thankful that im given the chance to experience;
& thank you for all the encouragement & guidance.
so no more freaking out & more confident. :D
& of cause, cherish the times with everyone,
especially those that are graduating.. |:

the times spent with every single one of you is more than words to say.
& i enjoyed every single moment with you guys! :DD

friends come & go.
but at least, memories are there.

after week zero, i guess everyone will be busy with their own stuffs.
but i really hope we won`t lost contact. :D

& haha, the walkie-talkie is really fun,
the feeling really is shuang since its the first time i used it;
but i think will get sian one right? LOL

to conclude things up,
i really like the feeling when after each briefing, i got high with the participants;
& have fun, like so high la, SHUANG !
i likeeeeeeee ! :D

& lastly, i want all the photos !
till now they still haven upload. T.T

i think i have finally say out what i wanna say.
till then. :D

back from camp

2009-03-29T19:30:00.002+08:00

I'M FINALLY BACK FROM MTC ! :D

though im badly burnt, i had so much fun.
the most happening camp i ever been too.
& yes, my very first camp in TP.
i seriously didn`t regret joining as a programmer.
though there are a lot of hard work behind, its all worth.
minus the muscle aches & sleepless nights, just one word, "FUN" !
i thank all the other programmers that guide me through.
& apologized for my inexperience too.
i gained so much experience throughout the 4days3nights.
& of cause, i gained so much new friends too. :D
so many first times i had.

though it can be hell sometimes;
i miss all the programmers & the camp already !! D:

looking forward to April week zero. :D

first day of the camp was station games by Alvina's group.
& i was stationed at the first & last games together with the rest.
although im taken aback at first,
im surprised at myself at the confident level i had when i have to brief.
& those participants really make me in high spirit. [:
last station with joan was great.
it was great talking to her, really. :D

scenario walk was okay.
& having to climb over the fences to bath at the swimming complex was well;
errrr, worth climbing? LOL

slept about 5 hours & went to have a shower @ sports hall.
PT dance was tiring but BEST.
prepare for night walk & joined the rest for 100s game preparation.
was at station 5 with chor seng.
was having so much fun i swear! hehe.
the 5 lanes game after that was great too ! :D

sadly, i didn`t get to join in the fun during night walk.
but at least i had time to rest, haha.
great jobs to the guys that made night walk so successful ! :D

last day of the camp.
woke up after 4hours of sleep.
prepare for my group's game ; survivor.
supposed to be briefing with amelia but i think i totally freak out.
felt very bad though, so sorry..
though something cock up but everything still went smoothly in the end. (:
after setting up everything & while waiting.
we were dancing xi shua shua, tp dance, cartoon dance & engine dance.
great bonding we had!! :D
THE BIG BIG SUN REALLY BURNT US ALL PROGRAMMERS, OUCH !

finally left school & cabbed home at around 4,5 plus.
bathed & met T for dinner. hehe
& i slept all the way.
more than 16 hours of sleep. BEST !

& looking at the sms-es sent is really.. awwww.

SEE YOU GUYS ON WEEK ZERO ! :DDDDD
everyone one of you will not be forgotten!
& PROGRAM ROCKS !:DD

MTC

2009-03-25T01:30:00.001+08:00

hehehe.
kinda busy for this whole week.
just a short update before my 4days3nights camp in TP.
my very first camp in TP.
kinda looking forward to it too.

alrighty, back on sunday or next week. :D

MTC CAMPPPPPPPPPP !

WELL, finally or what.

2009-03-20T00:35:00.001+08:00

all of sudden, i have so much to say!
yeah, my rantings.
so kindly ignore if you are pissed/offended or whatever.

life has never been normal,
its weird; so weird that i never understood once.

things happen in a cycle.
whats goes around, comes around.
hurt someone? got yourself hurt back.
betray someone? got yourself betrayed.
back-stab someone? got yourself back-stabbed.
& the list goes on..

whatever you felt; be it up or down.
just be prepared you will be feeling them soon.
karma ? oh, whatever.
cry or laugh ? decide yourself, ha!

when you have something to say or comment on,
someone else will have something against you.
till you just got all tired.
& nb, this is what i have been feeling earlier on.
know how miserable & hurtful it felt?
NO!
(i got over everything so im okay now btw. :D)

& hating someone that hasn't done anything to you?
childish or what....?!
hate someone that ruin your life instead! gosh!
do yourself a favor by be fair to others, be fair to yourself.

perhaps that's how cruel the world is.
oh, one very simple example;
when you & your friends are slacking around & you saw someone walking by;
be it the way she/he dress or whatsoever,
you start gossiping & talking about that particular person;
& the best thing is WE DON`T EVEN KNOW WHO THE HELL IS THAT PERSON,
JUST A PASSERBY, A STRANGER.
i am sure everyone has this experience.

so what makes you think, nobody will not say about you?
even a total stranger on the street will.
the percentage of having someone talking behind your back is low but it still do happen.
that is sooooo unavoidable! gees..
& this makes me realise, i should just look on the brighter side & MOVE ON WITH LIFE.
whats with all the emo?
( i still get pretty emotional at random times FYI T.T)
this is life, damn.
nobody is happy throughout the whole life.
like wtf, does it even happen at all?!
even a roller coaster is built with ups & downs.
so there`s a balance, like a balance in life.

seriously, people around can be nuts.
i mean ya, perhaps me myself can be real nuts & cranky & unreasonable & etc at times.
(well, im a human that is full of emotions & feelings all the times ya?|:)
& getting away or be separated from people that might hurt or don`t appreciate you can be just that peaceful.
maybe have a try by only keeping a few best friends around you.
trust me, that`s more than enough.
just be contented with you life! mehhh .

& don`t be an asshole that build your own happiness that cause misery on someone.
think for others please!
everyone deserve something better, stop being a dickhead.

when you think you are at the highest achievement,
remember that there's always be someone else at a higher level.
keep away your ego & be modest.

& felt so good after a shopping session @ FEP earlier on today.
thank you gf! <3
heheheheh :D
& gonna rebond & dye my hair before school starts.
think i wanna dye gold/brown.
i find that colour suits me more?|:
perhaps extend my lashes & try waxing too ? HEHE
alrighty! off to bed soon, gotta go school for subcom meeting again.
NIGHTS ALL !

P.S: cheer up my friend, life isn`t always smooth but things will be fine just the next moment. :D
& not to forget, you will always be the one for me. (:

big sigh !

2009-03-17T21:53:00.000+08:00

MY CONFIDENCE LEVEL WAS KINDA LOW TODAY. ]:

parkway with T yesterday evening.
swensens for dinner & the standard like dropped already..(?)
& i finally changed my eyebrow stud.
i tend to pull or come in contact with my ring accidentally causing the tear.
at least it isn`t that swollen now.
do take care of your eyebrow piercing if you have or intending to get one.
its sure hard to take care! |:
decided to buy a steel nose stud too.
although silver nose studs are cheaper, they rust after 1 to 2 weeks.
so aye..

anyway, popeyes @ T3 with shihong after subcom meeting.
bus-ed home after which.
i think im gonna have sore throat real soon;
have a hard time swallowing my saliva. ]:
& i have been drinking so much water the whole day.
aren`t sure if its the bad weather, my menses or my throat. T.T

SIGH !

bored la

2009-03-15T21:28:00.000+08:00

subcom meeting on friday was great! :D
had a great laugh & enjoyed myself so much;
bunch of great people you will want to mix with.
was so exhausted while heading home at 8plus nearing 9.

& i finally canceled my friendster account. (:

i was so bored that i started playing around with the tools at photobucket, haha!

(edited)
sometimes it just felt good sitting at your desk in your bedroom reading a book;
letting the wind from the fan blowing at you lightly..
hehe, it sure feels good to me. :D
& of cause with a dictionary beside me.
i tend to look up for big words that i encounter while reading.
aye, how i wished my english is fantastic. |:

& gees,
bad mood has strike me quite a number of times recently.
BOO! D:

no matter what,
its great to have you.
& im happy, really am..
at the very end, i will just realise how much i love you;
& how many times i have fall for you.. [:

hurt but overcoming it.

2009-03-11T14:24:00.002+08:00

your words are like arrows that have spikes on them.
it alerted me & i woke up feeling hurt still;
but kinda glad, it really helped. ironic? yes!
whatever it is, i thank you from the bottom of my heart.(:

by right, relaese of results is tomorrow.
but i got mine already.
kind of bad but at least i passed all. |:
my gpa dropped from 2.68 to 2.37.
now my wish of getting into an university seems a little more far now. D:
SAD OR WHAT?!

i realise singing at the top of my voice(almost) can actually vent your anger.
like throwing aside all your unhappiness.
& i felt good after singing for 3 going to 4 hours yesterday. :D
& i love sober sang by pink !
pretty amazed by myself, hahah, self praise. XD

feeling miserable won`t helps.
tearing make it numb.
hiding is just running away.
it does not solve & it doesn`t helps too.
bottom line? it reflects & one lesson learnt.

you lost something, you gain something.
you lost something, you reflect on.
you lost something, you learn.
it`s never too late to realise.
:D

sometimes when you lost certain things in life,
it will just be gone forever.

i have decided to let things happen naturally.
like, letting them pass & make myself smile again.
i think there`s a need for me to break out of this cycle.
& i felt that there's a need to trust the right person to confide your problems.
don`t be a laughing stock or a fool in the end;
cause you will never know when that will happen to you!

being yourself is not a bad thing;
as you aren`t faking a self.
just like i can`t help myself from being sensitive & emotional.
i tired to change & it may have a positive effect.
but then again, i just got so exhausted in the end.
i really wonder sometimes so whats the point of all these?
perhaps to make myself a better person. (:
i felt grateful to whoever stands by me.
be contented with what i have & i guess thats enough.
i really cherish them alot.
deep down, i regretted not cherishing people around me in the past..

the biggest problem i have is;
i tend to think too much & i looked too much in details.
emotions always got hold of me.
but i guess its just the way i looked at things & react to them..

you can`t please everyone anyway.
do something worth.

i always feel so grateful to have dearest mummy by my side.
she never fails to understand me & support me.
& i mean every single time.
more than words to repay her. [:

thank you for being my side & guiding me along. xoxo
& tomorrow is the 12TH ! :D

dear is back!

2009-03-09T17:26:00.002+08:00

my weekend is simple yet enjoyable.
cause T is finally back from Sydney after a month ! YAY :D
for the second time, im waiting for him at the arrival hall.
& boy, i felt so anxious like the first time.

why act like you care & put up a show for everyone to see?
feeling good & misleading others.
such a disgrace.

holidays sure are boring yet relaxing.
the date for the release results is confirmed, ~~19th~~12th march(opp`s).
wish me luck & all the best to all who are taking their results too.
:DD

been playing "guess the sketch challenge" on facebook.
it's sure fun & addictive! (:

& as i look through the photos for the past 1 year;
i see the changes in me from the day i stepped into TP till i am now done with year 1.
like wow? but i guess every individual will feel the same way,ha.
cameras are the best invention lo.
those pictures capture down so much memories..
especially those memories that are lost long ago..

a picture paints a thousand words.

we are changing every single day.
perhaps my dearest mummy is right, the lesser you care & putting less attention,
the effects you get in the end will be more effective.

i always think whatever dearest mummy told me is right;
just that i feel it nonsensical whenever i first heard. haha.
just like that time she was telling me;
"if you treat others graciously, you will feel better deep down too, life is short."

because my first thought was,
"siao ah, you think you treat people good, they will appreciate & know mehs?"
& i realise, it doesn`t matter whether others know or whatsoever,
you are just playing your play, doing what you are suppose to do. [:

& btw, i added a new music play list.
a few of my favourite songs for the time being.
cheers !

some pictures taken on saturday. [:

nua ..

2009-03-03T20:20:00.001+08:00

i seriously think jealousy is very scary, very very..
it applies to r/s, be it with your love,friends,family, whatever.
you just lost control.
you just wished you didn`t saw, you didn`t heard.
you just wished you didn`t cared.

& you will be thinking. " jealous for what?"

just many past random incidents that appeared on my mind;
& it really did happened to all kinds of r/s i have with everyone around me.

don`t you just wished you are smiling from both inside & outside of you all the times?
all it takes is just a tiny matter to screw it up!

sometimes you just can`t say out every single thing on mind.
how irritating is that?!

& aye, been using my laptop on my bed ever since i woke up.
felt so nua... LOL
& rejected one 3days job, at home nua more. :D

& 16th, meet up ah bei ! :D

left 4 more dayyyyys ! YAY ! <3

you are one that i wont ever want to lose

2009-03-02T23:08:00.005+08:00

subcom is kinda stressful actually. |:
work on saturday is tiring! ]:
played 3 hours of dai dee with my family yesterday night & i lose 16bucks. D:

SAD OR WHAT ?!

slept for 7 hours & woke up.
headed to the clinic for my acne problems along with dearest dad & bro.
bought lunch home.

& oh, a real random one.
was chatting with the both of them & dearest daddy reminded me of one thing...

actually i have phobia to be water as in swimming;
since i was young ! 0,0
i think my parents too pamper me la, i scare then they don`t want force me already.
that`s why i don`t know how to cycle too. T.T
i sort of regret now...........

&&& dearest bro finally figured out the connection setup;
& i can now access to the internet in my room!
plus, its full connection rate, no lag! LOL :D

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it was pouring heavily till around 7.
luckily the rain stopped. :D
love accompanied down despite being so tired, thank you love! (:
bought setan's present & headed down to the chalet.
was chatting with love all the way.
i just love talking to her, my bestest girlfriend. :DDD

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should have listened to T.
shouldn`t have work today, should have just stay at home relax & enjoy; nb..
i swear my hand can break anytime la ! damn.
the workload today was like wtf, and my fingers keep on type & type for that 8/9 hours?! insane or what.
kinda being forced to stay for an hour extra.
& i seriously felt pissed, like who cares abt the OT pay,
im like so tired & felt so bth already. seriously de leh..
i really salute those full timer working at there man ...
i think i aren`t going back there anymore. THATS IT !
anyway, bev,jingyuan,weijie & shihong were working with me today. :D

kfc for dinner with sister & weijie.
i cabbed home after that, hehe.
gonna dota with them later i suppose ? :P

& i promise to sleep early today!

5 more days to go. :D
i miss you so the much ! <3

blog done!

2009-02-27T00:48:00.004+08:00

呵呵，我花了两天，终于完成！
虽然简单可是我喜欢！：D

好累啊。。一整天对着电脑；
想去睡了，yawns...

by the way, please update me with your links if its not updated,
or if its not there;
as i have lost all of the links actually.. ]:

alrighty!
having sub-com meeting tomorrow @ 1pm.

saturday: working for 4 hours(previous temp job).
sunday:going setan's birthday chalet with mag;
what about window shopping before that love? :p
monday: working for that one day(previous temp job).

& TADA, no more jobs i suppose? haha.

sometimes, i rather stay at home & just enjoy the peace.. |:

8/9days more; i miss you !(:

happy 19th michy

2009-02-25T01:22:00.002+08:00

*LONG POST*

Joan is having her 2 months vacation break !
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ! :DD

but i still find it boring since there's nothing much to do.
i mean i am sure gonna get bored lazing around, using the comp, going out; etc.
aren`t sure if im working but mostly not.
gonna go back school often for subcom meeting.
at least theres something to do, i hope its enjoying, eh ? :D

& OH, I AM LOVING FACEBOOK.
i think i am neglecting friendster for good !
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celebrated dearest brother's birthday on saturday.
had dinner at long beach; yummy crab ! :D
missing the old good times when we were both young, sticking close to our parents.
dearest daddy was sharing with us how much fun we had together as a family when we were young.
sighs, sad isn`t it ? ]:
life just have to move on & i hope the 4 of us will go through thick & thin together till the very end..

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yesterday was my last paper.
please please please let me get A for my maths. |:
please please please let me get at least a D for OOP. D:

just when i thought its time to chill & relax.
while i was bathing when i came home yesterday after the paper..
i suddenly thought of zhengxiong saying this to me.
" if you need to take supp paper for OOP, i sure laugh at you one.."
wah lao eh, make me so worried now, shit you la bear !!
faster go organise bbq/steamboat la !
i don`t want wait till your birthday ! hahaha.
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so yesterday was michelle's birthday. :D
love came over to my house after our maths paper & slacked.
my dearest mimi is too adorable to resist right?! ha!
so got prepared & stuffs & walked to inter.
its then i realised i forgotten to bring my wallet out. T.T
walked back home to get it & back to inter to meet up with shihong.
3 of us cabbed to central mall to meet up with michelle & joan yong. (:

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walked & walked & walked.
& found out timbre was booked for private event. sadddddddddd & exhausted! ):
walked back & settled at some man U bar..
& i finally got to eat!!
we were sitting beside 2 rich guys &...
the 5 of us got a keychains that cost 10 bucks each, scam..
& a jug of long island & i was thinking, why dont they just pay for our bills instead?!
wasted or what! k, just kidding.
guys, seriously, money can`t buy everything in the whole wide world man!

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next stop ?
chinatown party world! :D

i think i can`t stay high for long.
or perhaps i am already tired before that.
cause i played & sang & after an hour or so, i felt so sleepy.. yawns..
but i the 4 of them were so high la! haha

shared cabbed back at 3+ with shihong.
chatted on our way back & im real glad we are okay now., really. (:

wanted to try & edit & play around with the pictures.
but aye, lazyyyyy.
ended up editing one picture only. haha!

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& i slept at 5am.....
i hate it when i am lack of sleep.
i will shout at whoever is there(my victims) & of cause i aren`t on purpose la.
& talking about this reminds me of jingyuan, lol. :x
sorry la sister, i know you will probably still remember that i shouted at you at my chalet when im sleeping while helping me to clean up the place.

see?!
i am terrified of my unconscious behavior... haha!

------------------------------------------------------------------

went for my appointment at 3pm.
had my eyebrows trimmed & did classic pedicure & manicure. :D
felt great, that`s what i always love to do, to pamper myself. hehe.

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& seriously,i wonder how thick-skin one can be?
no sense of shame? TSK!
SPEECHLESS!

i will always be safe & sound for you. (:

1 last paper

2009-02-21T00:34:00.002+08:00

believe with your eyes & aren`t your ears.
this i truly understand now.

2 papers down, 1 paper more to goooooooo.
was more confident with netfund.
telesys paper at the sports hall was a torture.
SUPER HOT AH !

Joan is left with maths paper. :D

& i just realise my artist,Joseph has posted my tattoo on facebook.
see already also happyyy.
thought of the pain i went through, like ouch(?)
but i still its gorgeous & its so damn worth.
so tempted to get inked again..
i think dearest mummy will scream at me the next time round. haha!

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY CALENE/DEAR ! :D
HAPPY (BELATED) 18TH BIRTHDAY WEIQIANG/BESTIE ! :D

so sorry, i make it up to you both soon alright ?
(:

& we just kept on talking, on & on ..
like there`s any full stop found.
nothing is best compared to my dearest girlfriend, magdelene hu !
let`s slim down before we turned 18 later this year okayyyyy ?hehe! xoxo !

you gave me this special feeling that i enjoy;
always there.. (:

problems

2009-02-16T20:23:00.000+08:00

i think i have the biggest problem in the world.
i think my characters are that bad.

i realise so much things like again.
i am forever thinking, ask those that know me well. |:

i always fail to handle human relations.
especially friends..

it is true that one can help others with their problems & not with their own problems.
why?
because by-standers see things in a much more clearer view.

sometimes i wish i could record down my daily life.
to reflect on my doings & actions.
sometimes i wish someone is hard-hearted enough & able withstand me to tell me what have i done wrong at that very point.

but being human with emotions & feelings..
saying everything straight into another's face may just cause another conflict, another war.
so who is willingly to be that nice one but got back hatred & not thankfulness in the end ?

its just so hard to be a nice friend.
its just so hard to be a little less than perfect.

border line of the whole thing?
i realise nobody is willing to give in & let go matters like how a mother will..

true friends accept who you are.
however, everyone has their limits too.

some things will always make a mark in the memories;
well especially the bad ones, those wrong doings both you or people around you have done.

sometimes you will never able to go back & press refresh or delete & start again;
just like how i am typing now.

sometimes things just can`t go back & you can`t amend.

nobody is going to stop & wait for you.
& the time is forever ticking on ...

& how irritating to be squeezed in the center,
being blamed for nothing, like why should i be the scapegoat?!

give & take;
but what if you give too much or what if you take too much?
how do we even know the limits actually.

i feel like some loser;
feeling upset over my own crap.

its like whats wrong with me ?
i am forever facing the same old problem(!)

i kept on rant & rant non stop.
but things aren`t going to change anyway.

sincere apologies to all i have disappointed/caused unhappiness/etc.
& thank you for all the forgiveness/standing by me/etc.

i think i finally realise why all these while...........
sigh.
i screwed it all up.

alright alright,
actually i`ve got alot more to say but fuck, forget it.
played a few games of dota with my fellow classmates.
i kept on being owned, what else. LOL
i need to study, yes i need to.
thanks guys, you guys never failed to make me laugh like hell. :D

surprise; a pleasant yet sweet one. (:

friends

2009-02-14T21:28:00.004+08:00

they say its the best message of 2009..
read on to understand. :p

they love you but they are not your lover..
they care for you but they are not from your family..
they are ready to share your pain but they are not in your blood relation..
they are..

FRIENDS!!

true friends scolds like a dad !
cares like a mum!
teases like a sister!
irritates like a brother!
& finally loves you more than a lover.

do you know the relation between your 2 eyes?
they blink together, move together, cry together & see things together & sleep together.
though they never see each other,
friendship should be just like that.
life is hell without friends.

received this from a number of my friends.
awwwww. :D

I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS & I MISS ALL OF THEM SO MUCH.
xoxo
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slept till 6pm just now.
no idea how i did it but i just keep on sleeping.
finally had enough sleep. :D
gonna chiong maths today, perhaps till the next morning.

didn`t went out since T is away at sydney too.
but dearest mummy actually knew i am kind of sad.
& she actually cooked all my favorite dishes for dinner, awww.
love you mummy ! :D

thank you for always being there no matter where are you. (:

val day

2009-02-14T01:20:00.000+08:00

Joan's a happy girl, at least for the whole of friday. :DD

despite having insufficient sleep for the whole of this week due to OOP project.
it is finally done & i don`t have to care about it anymore.
it is submitted, YAY ! but hell, its uncompleted.
we tried & we are tired..

& gees, i slept at 4plus & woke up at 7 in the morning.
yawns.. zzzzzz

most of us stayed in the lab even after the lesson has ended.
trying to edit our codes & the guys started playing random games on the net.
i laughed upon seeing those cute graphics & the logic behind those games. lol.

walked over to breadboard to meet up with michelle & mag/love.
had our lunch & bus-ed to bugis.
decided to cab over to plaza singapura as we can`t stand the bad weather...

accompanied michelle to get her stuffs.
she left after that while me & love went to watch our movie, New In Town.
i was sleeping for around 30minutes since the start of the show.
besides being tired, i think the show is so boring, isn`t to my liking i guess.
its like a torture & i kept wishing it will just end.
was too lazy to walk out since we are somehow sitting at the center seats.

went centerpoint afterwhich to meet up with dearest mummy. :D
& we went shopping, heheheheh. :p
i love sales!
shopped all the way till 9.30 & bus-ed home.
bought..
- one pair of slipper from m(phosis.
- one pair of covered shoes from clubmarc.
- one top & one bottom from mango.
- two tops from bossini.
- one lipgloss from anna sui.

:DDDD
but aye, i have to return dearest mummy money too. |:

& oh, i should be able to play L4D & Dota now.
thanks to my fellow classmates like how i got CS in my laptop. :D

alrighty,
study break next week.
& first 2 papers next friday. 0.0

hardcore study starting from tomorrow onwards;
since i am not celebrating valentine's day but staying at home to sleep till i regain all my energy & study. (:
aye, faster come back T! ]:

lastly, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO EVERYONE ! :DDDDDD

you

2009-02-09T23:00:00.002+08:00

i miss.....

my menses are making me all fed up and irritated for no reason.
& damn, i felt like giving up OOP.
but nah, i am going try to endure and after friday, it will be all gone;
at least for 2 months since its the vacation.. |:
i mean its like so fucking difficult to come out with a java calendar,
similar to the one you have as a gadget at your laptop. fucking hell..

aye, just wanna voice out & make myself find better for a few minutes.

okay, i think i should go wash up and SLEEP!

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you